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The unwanted.



„What about these scars doctor? “she asked holding the mirror looking at her face.

“That’s alright; some scars take a lifetime to heal.” said Dr. Sunil in a pacifying tone.

“When can I leave, doctor?” She stared at the open window seeing the children play in the garden as the morning rays of sun fell on the freshly mowed garden.

“In a day or two Ananya.” exclaimed Dr. Sunil looking at the reports.

“Does she have the address?” he asked Bela privately. Bela nodded.

She gave one look at the hospital where she spent almost 18 months and picked up the bag filled with toys, a gift pack and a pair of her clothes that Bela had gifted her on Diwali.

“If you expect nothing from anybody, you’re never disappointed.”

“With closed ones too?”

“You don’t expect from strangers do you?”

She would have pulled the stuffed kangaroo and felt it and put it in her bag several times in the 5 hour train journey. She inquisitively looked outside the window thinking of how things get to normalcy, just didn’t seem that the state had the worst terrorist attack just 18 months back.

She was excited and nervous at the same time.

“We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face… we must do that which we think we cannot.”

“But that’s my family; they will support me and make me confident.”

“Hopefully, Amen.”

She reached the front courtyard, ‘Nayaks’ the name plate made by her still hung there. She felt it with her fingers before opening the gate to the front courtyard. She had replayed the scene of her daughter running to her, her husband so happy and pleasant hugging her so many times that she actually knew her words and had rehearsed them several times.

The door was open; as she entered she could see the toys lying in the living room giving her the assurance of her daughter will be in her arms in no time now. Her aunt came down the stairs and was frozen after seeing her. She took several minutes to react, followed by a forced hug.

“Aunty, aren’t you happy, surprised to see me?” Said Ananya looking at her aunt’s expressionless face.

After a long pause, “yes, Ananya, I am, in fact we did get a letter from the hospital just a day back of your return. Come sit in the living room.”

That wasn’t her aunt’s natural self. Why I am treated like an outsider, thought Ananya. She entered the living room; one look around felt as if the house was being taken care of. She each day would think how would they manage without her. In one corner she saw a small picture of her placed on the side table. She remembered the words of being confident and positive and after all it was natural for them to think she lost her life in the blast that took place when she had been to the market.

She sat on the edge of her sofa quietly rubbing her one feet on another, nervously clinging to her bag wanting nothing but to see her husband and daughter, she must have been 4 years by now.

After a while her daughter, Ira rushed in the living room, Ananya could no longer contain herself and broke down in tears as she grabbed her and hugged her hard. She swiftly removed all the toys she had got for her and placed her on her lap.

“Ira, did you miss mumma, my princess?”

Ira immediately rushed to her father and wrapped to his leg dropping the stuffed kangaroo on the way.

“Ananya.” called out Rohan.

She rose.

“How have you been?”

She was jolted by the formality that wrapped the question. It was nothing like what she had thought it to be.

“One ought to hold on to one’s heart; for if one lets it go, one soon loses control of the head too.”

“Why would I want to think with my head, my family needs my heart?”

“Depends on the situation and the circumstance, now you will always need both.”

She brought herself to reality and handed the gift she had got in his hands.

“Rohan, honey, are you home?” she said as she entered the house.

The voice sounded familiar as she walked straight to the living room and stood next to Rohan.

“Oh…” giving a startled look, “Ananya….it’s you.” She looked at Ananya and immediately glanced at Rohan.

That was Ruchi, her first cousin, but what was she doing in my house? Her addressing Rohan as honey, Ananya was trying to put the puzzle pieces in place when her aunt broke the ice, “I think you must be tired Ananya, why don’t you rest?”

“The first step toward change is awareness. The second step is acceptance.”

“What if I don’t like the change?”

“Then think what if you do not have a choice of changing the change?”

She picked her bag still blank at what was happening looking at the faces around knowing she was the unwanted one. She knew that Ruchi would have come to support her child as she was too young, but she had to know more. Ananya being an orphan was raised by her aunt and was not among those  jump at things and seek explanations.

“We tried really hard to find you for several months. Hospitals, police, posters all, but no trace. We finally placed your picture on the market square and even joined the candle march to force government to act.” Rohan said trying hard to sound convincing at the dinner table.

“It was generous of Ruchi, to then come here and take up the family responsibility for Ira….”added her aunt.

“And Rohan…” Ruchi completed pressing Rohan’s hand sitting next to him at the dinning.

“Hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man.”

“Can reality hurt?”

“Depends if what you want out of reality is not a dream.”

She had not uttered a word but been a silent listener. The pain she had lived in the past few hours was more than what she went through in her treatment of 18 months. She passed by to keep her plate when she overheard…

“How long has she come for?” Ruchi said in a hushed tone.

“I don’t know, I don’t think you need to overreact.” Rohan replied.

“And did you see her face, it’s full of scars, Ira will have nightmares every night. I can’t let her be here in my house. Get that straight.” She came out slamming the door behind her.

Ananya washed her plate and tip toed to the room. She sat on the bed and picked up the book with the grey writings of her conversations with Bela over the 18 months which Bela had penned and handed over before her leaving. The last page was an address and two notes of INR 1000 each.

“If you ever reach this page and feel the need, the doors are open and you have the address.”

Next day there was no trace of Ananya in the Nayak’s house.

She left a note, “I wasn’t a pile on Rohan and will never be; now my life awaits me.”

She came back to the hospital and Dr. Sunil employed her as an intern at his hospital. Her life had just begun.

 

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Cubicle life – Dawn of occupational burnout.



Office Space – Did that ring any bell?

For those who are a part of the office space fan club will relate to this instantly.

Bill Lumbergh: Hello, Peter. What’s happening? Uh…we have sort of a problem here. Yeah.You apparently didn’t put one of the new coversheets on your TPS reports.
 

Peter Gibbons: Oh, yeah. I’m sorry about that. I, I forgot.
 

Bill Lumbergh: Mmmm…yeah. You see, we’re putting the coversheets on all TPS reports now before they go out. Did you see the memo about this?
 

Peter Gibbons: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I have the memo right here. I just uh…forgot. But, uh, it’s not shipping out till tomorrow, so there’s no problem.
 

Bill Lumbergh: Yeah. If you could just go ahead and make sure you do that from now on, that will be great. And uh, I’ll go ahead and make sure you get another copy of that memo. Mmmkay? Bye bye, Peter.
 

Peter Gibbons: No, I…I have the memo. I’ve got it. It’s right…

 [Lumbergh isn’t listening and walks away from Peter’s cubicle]

OR

Samir: No one in this country can ever pronounce my name right. It’s…it’s not that hard. Na-ghee-na-na-jar. Nagheenanajar.

Michael Bolton:Yeah, well, at least your name isn’t Michael Bolton.

 Samir: You know, there’s nothing wrong with that name.

 Michael Bolton:There was nothing wrong with it, until I was about twelve years old and that no-talent ass clown became famous and started winning Grammys.

Samir:Hmm…well, why don’t you just uh…go by Mike instead of Michael?

 Michael Bolton:No way! Why should I change? He’s the one who sucks.

It’s a 1999 comedy for those who get up in the morning and rush to work, sit in the confines of a cubicle for 9 hours and do it all over again the next day. Life in the office couldn’t be depicted more accurately than in this terrific satire. The characters, story and dialogue are very sharp and wickedly humorous. If you hate your job and want to feel a little better about it then this movie is for you.

 

For those who haven’t seen it, here is a short glimpse of the movie!

 



 

I have seen the movie more than the number of fingers in my hand. What I think the bigger picture is occupational burn out. Now that was a mouthful isn’t it. Like I have been working for 10 years without a break and going strong (at least till now).

So what is occupational burnout? My ex-boss always said, “Shweta, the day you get up in the morning and don’t feel like going to work, it’s time to give up.” I once very proudly passed this gyan to my brother and he said, “I feel it every day.” I shut after that.

Occupational or job burnout is characterized by exhaustion, lack of enthusiasm and motivation, feeling ‘drained’, and also may have the dimension of frustration and/or negative emotions and cynical behaviour, and as a result reduced professional efficacy within the workplace.

Why not take a short test to see if we suffer from a job burnout?  


Results

Now if you landed in 15-18, am sure you are enjoying your life. Anything above this is my Gurumantra
 
Get some METIME: When I say metime, it does not include family and friends. It’s your personal time where you can enjoy what YOU like doing. It could be reading, walking, music or just sitting and meditating.
Take a holiday: May be you have not taken a break, pack you bag take sometime off. Go away from the normal work life and come back refreshed.
Meet Friends: No put that phone down, I didn’t mean WhatsApp, I mean real people over coffee.Call them fix sometime.
No THINK TIME: Make it a habit to have some time off where you don’t think especially of work. Just cut off from the buzz, switch your phone off (too much, silent it then). Give your mind some break.
Change: Yes may be you have got in a comfort zone and need something more exciting. Think of change of role in same organisation or elsewhere.
 
None of the above works….oh “Ab sirf bhagwaan aur dua kaam aa sakti hai” (Only God and prayers can help you).

 
Posted on

Sharmaji ka Happy Birthday!

„Hello Madam “Sharmaji yelled, looking up from his balcony at the flat above. “You, madam, yellow sari. Stop drying your clothes here, all water drops on my plants. My coriander has died twice.” He tried looking up again when a splash of water fell on his face along with the blouse that rested straight on his spectacles.

“Aye, uncle, whom are you calling yellow sari. If I don’t dry my clothes in balcony where do I?” Leena stretched her vocals to reach Sharma’s ears.

Loveleen ran to the balcony and pushed Sharmaji, “Arre Leenaji, please do dry your clothes and don’t mind what Sharmaji just said.”

She held him by his arm and as he moved the piece of cloth and tried cleaning the lens “Don’t you realise she gives us curd, sugar when we run out of it, I have few friends don’t you get cross at her.”

Sharmaji got busy reading the maintenance bill dated 25thJuly, 2014 (today) adjusting his spectacles not heeding to any of what his wife said.

Meet Vinod Sharma, 44 year old, sorry 43 years, 11 months and 29 days old insurance agent with State bank of India.  He stays in a 1 BHK house in Dadar with his wife Loveleen (38) and 2 daughters Pinky (16) and Gutti (12).

“Oh that Tiwari has again charged me interest on maintenance; I will show him now and teach him what he has not learnt in his MBA.” He murmured frustrated wearing his shirt.

“Sharmaji, don’t wear the shirt out and comb your hair before going. No doubt people call me your eldest daughter. Do get your medical report before coming.”

Sharmaji opened the door “I will get that tomorrow, Loveleen” and Pinky barged in, “Hi dad.”

“Call me papa.” He muttered still engrossed reading the bill walking out.

“Mom, we will have a surprise party for dad’s birthday day after. My friend, Joe has started a DJ and catering service. I have promised him to be his first good luck customer.” Pinky exclaimed in a typical teenager tone.

“Do what you like, we have a budget of Rs. 2000 including gift. You have to manage in that.” Loveleen warned.

**********************************************************************************

“Hello, myself Vinod Sharma, have my reports arrived?” Sharmaji enquired at the hospital.

“Gupte, get me Sharma’s report, put on today’s date, 26thJuly; 2014” retorted the plump lab assistant of DR. Shroff.  Gupte, a 68 year old admin found Sharmaji’s report among the lot that was stacked and handed it to the assistant.

“Take the report and wait for the doctor, he wants to meet you.” She directed Sharmaji.

Sharmaji sat on the posh leather sofa thinking these hospitals are no less than a 5 star hotels. He looked at the semi-nude paintings from a renowned painter what they these days call as investments. The 3 Sony LEDs played different channels as people in the waiting room got glued to each of them. The audience was clear, the 50 plus to the screen playing news, the women on the daily soap operas and the youngsters which had a B grade hero moving his booty to a C grade song, which after putting on spectacles read TOOH, whatever it meant.

“Vinod Sharma, third cabin from left.” the lab assistant called out.

“Sharmaji, do you have a very hectic life, are you too stressed?” Dr. Shroff was a leading Oncologist in town. Sharmaji has a family history of cancer and thus had a norm of getting a yearly regular check-up.

“No, why doctor.I mean who doesn’t these days.” Sharmaji asked puzzled.

“See it happens, life these days is stressful and there are treatments for everything.” said the doctor patiently.

“Doctor, what are you talking about? What has happened to me? Be clear before my heart pops out of my body.” Sharmaji said nervously fidgeting with his shirt corner.

“Ok, you have a rare cancer; it is grade III and stage III. Not much can be done but treatment and hope.”

Sharmaji could not believe what he had just heard. There was no point in doubting the doctor. The drudgeries of life had made him restless, anxious and to an extent pessimist.

“How much time do I have, doctor?” The typical filmy question, as he wiped the sweat of his brow and tears that had welled up under his glasses.

“4-6 months, with treatment we can delay it, don’t you worry.” Doctor placed his hand on Sharmaji’s trying to give hope.

“I am a dying man, what difference does it make 6 months or a year” Sharmaji stood up dejected, picked up his report and turned to leave.

He kept reading the report  which made no sense to him listening to zindagi kaisi hai paheli haaye that played the autorickshaw…..thinking of his investments and insurance policy that he can leave for his family.

Sharma reached home, did not eat lunch and had a few morsels for dinner. He started looking more ill than he felt. His voice mellowed with every response to his family. He kissed his daughters again and again.

*****************************************************************************

“How many times have I told you, do not watch movies early morning?” He yelled at Gutti.

“Dad, it’s not morning, its 10 am and its 27th July, 2014, a Sunday!” She energetically said.

Brought back to reality, Sharma opened his diary (he decided to keep one since he left the doctors) and marked the day in tally mark III, “yes beta, Please watch, by the way what movie are you watching.” He said in the softest tone his daughter had ever heard.

“Eh?” she said surprised at his tone. “Dasvidaniya, meaning goodbye, the best part is the hero puts on the list of ten things to be done before death.” She replies her eyes glued to the TV.

“Oh, who can relate it more than me?” He whispered to himself, thinking no one remembers his birthday.. Well good for them, they will get over my loss soon, thinking to himself.

**********************************************************************************

Sharmaji had slept more in the last three days than he had in the entire month. After all he was suffering from a fatal disease and had only some time left. He got up from his bed at 7.00 pm and walked to the living room.

“Happpppyyyy Birthday Dad!!!!¨” cheered Pinky among all the relatives and friends.

“Call me pa….You can call me dad” he said with a half-smile as people surrounded to wish him.

He was overwhelmed, nervous, and sad but had thought of keeping all happy for whatever of him was left.

Relatives made merry, talked to him and his answers got even more philosophical.

The DJ blew the speakers as his daughters and friends danced to TOOH. Loveleen served starters as Sharmaji sat at the table looking at the burning candles on the cake.

“Sharmaji, I am extremely sorry, I will not dry my clothes in the balcony now and you can eat your coriander.” Leena chuckled.

“Your clothes have more life than I do, I am a dying coriander.” said Sharmaji.

“Oh you are a humorous man.” Leena replied.

What a dying man has but humor, Sharma thought to himself when Loveleen gestured him to attend a phone call for him.  

He picked up with a more than sad “Hello, myself Vinod Sharma.”

“Sharmaji, I am lab assistant from Dr. Shroff’s hospital, I am really sorry the report you have is of another patient. Your reports are normal and you have no cancer. Our admin, Gupte, not being good at computers, typed the wrong name and mixed it. We are really sorry. Please forgive this. You have no disease.” The line cut abruptly.

Sharma could not believe what he has just heard. On one hand he was angry at the so called high class hospitals but the happiness exceeded his anger, he ran to the room like a guy in his 20’s and shouted out of happiness. He relished the starters and the cake, joked and lightly flirted with Leena and even danced to TOOH. However Vinod Sharma being him, did not forget to ask the DJ how much had his daughters blew cash on his birthday.

 
Posted on

Sharmaji ka Happy Birthday!

„Hello Madam “Sharmaji yelled, looking up from his balcony
at the flat above. “You, madam, yellow sari. Stop drying your clothes here, all
water drops on my plants. My coriander has died twice.” He tried looking up
again when a splash of water fell on his face along with the blouse that rested
straight on his spectacles.

“Aye, uncle, whom are you calling yellow sari. If I don’t dry
my clothes in balcony where do I?” Leena stretched her vocals to reach Sharma’s ears.

Loveleen ran to the balcony and pushed Sharmaji, “Arre
Leenaji, please do dry your clothes and don’t mind what Sharmaji just said.”

She held him by his arm and as he moved the piece of cloth
and tried cleaning the lens “Don’t you realise she gives us curd, sugar when we
run out of it, I have few friends don’t you get cross at her.”

Sharmaji got busy reading the maintenance bill dated 25th
July, 2014 (today) adjusting his spectacles not heeding to any of what his wife
said.

Meet Vinod Sharma, 44 year old, sorry 43 years, 11 months
and 29 days old insurance agent with State bank of India.  He stays in a 1 BHK house in Dadar with his
wife Loveleen (38) and 2 daughters Pinky (16) and Gutti (12).

“Oh that Tiwari has again charged me interest on maintenance;
I will show him now and teach him what he has not learnt in his MBA.” He murmured
frustrated wearing his shirt.

“Sharmaji, don’t wear the shirt out and comb your hair
before going. No doubt people call me your eldest daughter. Do get your medical
report before coming.”

Sharmaji opened the door “I will get that tomorrow, Loveleen”
and Pinky barged in, “Hi dad.”

“Call me papa.” He muttered still engrossed reading the bill
walking out.

“Mom, we will have a surprise party for dad’s birthday day
after. My friend, Joe has started a DJ and catering service. I have promised
him to be his first good luck customer.” Pinky exclaimed in a typical teenager tone.

“Do what you like, we have a budget of Rs. 2000 including
gift. You have to manage in that.” Loveleen warned.

**********************************************************************************

“Hello, myself Vinod Sharma, have my reports arrived?”
Sharmaji enquired at the hospital.

“Gupte, get me Sharma’s report, put on today’s date, 26th
July; 2014” retorted the plump lab assistant of DR. Shroff.  Gupte, a 68 year old admin found Sharmaji’s
report among the lot that was stacked and handed it to the assistant.

“Take the report and wait for the doctor, he wants to meet
you.” She directed Sharmaji.

Sharmaji sat on the posh leather sofa thinking these hospitals
are no less than a 5 star hotels. He looked at the semi-nude paintings from a renowned
painter what they these days call as investments. The 3 Sony LEDs played
different channels as people in the waiting room got glued to each of them. The
audience was clear, the 50 plus to the screen playing news, the women on the
daily soap operas and the youngsters which had a B grade hero moving his booty
to a C grade song, which after putting on spectacles read TOOH, whatever it meant.

“Vinod Sharma, third cabin from left.” the lab assistant called
out.

“Sharmaji, do you have a very hectic life, are you too
stressed?” Dr. Shroff was a leading Oncologist in town. Sharmaji has a family
history of cancer and thus had a norm of getting a yearly regular check-up.

“No, why doctor.I mean who doesn’t these days.” Sharmaji asked puzzled.

“See it happens, life these days is stressful and there are
treatments for everything.” said the doctor patiently.

“Doctor, what are you talking about? What has happened to
me? Be clear before my heart pops out of my body.” Sharmaji said nervously fidgeting
with his shirt corner.

“Ok, you have a rare cancer; it is grade III and stage III.
Not much can be done but treatment and hope.”

Sharmaji could not believe what he had just heard. There was
no point in doubting the doctor. The drudgeries of life had made him restless,
anxious and to an extent pessimist.

“How much time do I have, doctor?” The typical filmy
question, as he wiped the sweat of his brow and tears that had welled up under his glasses.

“4-6 months, with treatment we can delay it, don’t you
worry.” Doctor placed his hand on Sharmaji’s trying to give hope.

“I am a dying man, what difference does it make 6 months or a year”
Sharmaji stood up dejected, picked up his report and turned to leave.

He kept reading the report  which made no sense to him listening
to zindagi kaisi hai paheli haaye that played the autorickshaw…..thinking
of his investments and insurance policy that he can leave for his family.

Sharma reached home, did not eat lunch and had a few morsels
for dinner. He started looking more ill than he felt. His voice mellowed with
every response to his family. He kissed his daughters again and again.

*****************************************************************************

“How many times have I told you, do not watch movies early
morning?” He yelled at Gutti.

“Dad, it’s not morning, its 10 am and its 27th July,
2014, a Sunday!” She energetically said.

Brought back to reality, Sharma opened his diary (he decided
to keep one since he left the doctors) and marked the day in tally mark III,
“yes beta, Please watch, by the way what movie are you watching.” He said
in the softest tone his daughter had ever heard.

“Eh?” she said surprised at his tone. “Dasvidaniya, meaning
goodbye, the best part is the hero puts on the list of ten things to be done before death.” She replies her
eyes glued to the TV.

“Oh, who can relate it more than me?” He whispered to
himself, thinking no one remembers his birthday.. Well good for them, they will
get over my loss soon, thinking to himself.

**********************************************************************************

Sharmaji had slept more in the last three days than he had
in the entire month. After all he was suffering from a fatal disease and had
only some time left. He got up from his bed at 7.00 pm and walked to the living
room.

“Happpppyyyy Birthday Dad!!!!¨” cheered Pinky among all the
relatives and friends.

“Call me pa….You can call me dad” he said with a half-smile
as people surrounded to wish him.

He was overwhelmed, nervous, and sad but had thought of
keeping all happy for whatever of him was left.

Relatives made merry, talked to him and his answers got even
more philosophical.

The DJ blew the speakers as his daughters and friends danced
to TOOH. Loveleen served starters as Sharmaji sat at the table looking at the
burning candles on the cake.

“Sharmaji, I am extremely sorry, I will not dry my clothes
in the balcony now and you can eat your coriander.” Leena chuckled.

“Your clothes have more life than I do, I am a dying
coriander.” said Sharmaji.

“Oh you are a humorous man.” Leena replied.

What a dying man has but humor, Sharma thought to himself
when Loveleen gestured him to attend a phone call for him.  

He picked up with a more than sad “Hello, myself Vinod
Sharma.”

“Sharmaji, I am lab assistant from Dr. Shroff’s hospital, I am
really sorry the report you have is of another patient. Your reports are normal
and you have no cancer. Our admin, Gupte, not being good at computers, typed
the wrong name and mixed it. We are really sorry. Please forgive this. You have no disease.”
The line cut abruptly.

Sharma could not believe what he has just heard. On one hand
he was angry at the so called high class hospitals but the happiness exceeded his
anger, he ran to the room like a guy in his 20’s and shouted out of happiness.
He relished the starters and the cake, joked and lightly flirted with Leena and
even danced to TOOH. However Vinod Sharma being him, did not forget to ask the
DJ how much had his daughters blew cash on his birthday.

 
Posted on

It takes two to Tango!

“The tea is on the table. “ She said in a disconcerting tone as she sat on the adjacent chair of the round dining table with 4 chairs.
“You know I have never had tea without you, Ananya.” He replied in a consoling tone.

“So?” She exclaimed.

“Why do you always think I am at fault? Is asking for your time and hearing you are busy my lookout? You should have never got married if you didn’t have time for me.” She grabbed her breath by the time the last words came out of her mouth.

“I promise I will take care, Ananya. I will try really hard to live up to your expectations.” He lovingly said picking up the yellow lilies and presenting it to her. “I love you, now hug me.” He demanded.

“No, you hug me.” She hushed, looking at the flowers and smelling them.

He got up and embraced her tight.

******************************************************************************

Ananya sat at the table looking at the phone; she picked it up the 17th time to check for messages. All she saw was he last sent, “You never have time for me, all I hear is I am busy.”

She put the phone down again, wishing there were an alarm that warned, “You are seeing your phone too much!”

Restless and anxious she walked up and down the living room, glancing at the tea cup, phone, chair and door…as she paced up through the room….tea cup, phone, chair, door…tea cup, phone, chair and door..tea cup, phone, chair and door!
She played the scene again and again in her mind to the extent that she edited it and was ready for a hug the minute the doorbell would ring.

The doorbell rang; she rushed to open it…

Door open!

Arms almost ready!

“Madam, bag, sahib aayenge abhi!” I just missed a faux pas, she thought to herself.

She dejectedly tuned to walk back, tea cup, phone, chair…

Footsteps…

She turned!

“Sharma, I don’t know anything, you got to make the payment available. I am answerable to my senior.” He rushed in talking to someone, straight to his bed room!

Ananya sat at the chair and sipped the tea, scrolling through the WhatsApp forwards on her phone!
Posted on

Soulmate – the weaker link!

 
India is a land of emotions, a land of love and hearts. So Indians have two hearts is it? Think about it…I can ask again…Indians have two hearts is it?

Well most of us do! The one heart that belongs to our parents, let’s call it PHeart (Parentsheart) and our society at large and second let’s call it MHeart (myheart) which is quiet dormant early stages of our life awakens much later or sometimes we put that to sleep forever.

*******************************************************************************

Abhimanyu gets married to Sushila because his heart says so! Which heart? PHeart. The marriage gets consummated and in a year the PHeart is pressurized to complete the family with a child! So bingo another 9 months and baby arrives! The drudgeries of a daily survival start and life goes on!

In another world successful writer Ananya succumbs to PHeart and marries Dr. Krishna at a tender age, who Ananya ofcourse! The marriage tries to consummate but in vain. Busy worlds, busy people…STRESS….life continues!

All is well till Abhimanyu’s stars collide Ananya’s path. They meet fall for each other head over heels. Realising they are made for each other. The passion reaches its zenith where living without each other for a day becomes impossible. The Mheart awakens for both of them but it’s too late. Restlessness continues and starts affecting lives!  Can they live together? Will they have to give up on each other? Both realise they are not in love with their legal life partners…

Ananya and Abhimanyu are soulmates do they not have a right to be together?

******************************************************************************

Definition of soulmate: “a person ideally suited to another as a close friend or romantic partner.”

 

Writer Richard Bach defines soulmate as “A soulmate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are.”

A soulmate for me is the person who heals you, fulfills you like no other can and is the piece of that jigsaw that completes you to be whole.

Where does this anyway say that they could be or should be together?

A legal life partner may be a supporter but no matter what they try or do they would still lack the ability to lift you like your soulmate would.

What did Abhimanyu choose to do, the social ecosystem in India puts so much pressure on Mheart that they would prefer to let go then hold and fight the world. Who wants to disturb the settled status, perhaps isn’t divorce a taboo?

Since the relationship with a soulmate is a weaker link, I say a weaker link as it does not have a legal binding, a social recognition or any status that makes it more genuine, it’s easier to break the weaker link.

Who is at a loss?

Mheart: Please hear me, get me out of here, I want to breathe!

The walls are too thick and high for any voice to be heard outside, till it suffocates and gives up!

While I put my strong points here, my only message is, don’t plunge, and take your time! She is waiting with her cues match yours patiently, it may take time but it will happen! For more help, here it is

Cues to a soulmate

·         It’s passionate: It’s extreme both in good and bad times. In good times you want that intensity to always exist and in bad times the intensity works to solve the problem quickly and bring it back to normalcy!

·         “You stole my words”: You may say it’s natural and can happen with anyone. But if the thoughts and words are blurted together all the time with your love, it’s a sure sign of a soulmate.

·         Harder to break in trying times: every relation will be a roller coaster, but in downs if you time and again don’t want to break free but want to mend it, where you don’t want to give up mutually then you have your soulmate.

·         Feeling of oneness: Where you two feel one and are ready to face the world for good and trying times.

·         You can’t imagine your life without him/her: Without her you feel as if you are a lone ranger! When the feeling of belongingness grabs you!

·         Constant thinking of the other’s happiness: where all you do and want to do is think of how can you make the other happy.

·         When you feel safe and protected: A person, who will secure your insecurities, be it a man or a woman will make you feel safe and protected is a sign of a soulmate!

·         It is beyond love:Now this one is a caveat that not all will agree but I feel that your soulmate will meet you each life time and you will also realize that this is it! In what role she/he meets is a different deal! But it is beyond the mortal world and you will know!

 
Well, all I can say listen to your Mheart before your Pheart takes over! And if you come across your soulmate don’t give in you may have to wait a lifetime!
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To be or not to be – Child Custody!

Judge: “Do you agree to the accusation that you return home late due to work and not give time to your child?”

Father: “Yes, I agree.”

Judge: “Is the instance cited by the complainant on you not being present on important occasions such of your child’s birthday, school functions and illness true?”

Father: “Yes, I agree your honour.”

Judge: “How old is your child?”

Mother: “10 years.”

Father: “9 years 11 months and 3 days.”

Judge: “Why should you be given the custody?”

Mother: “A child needs a mother, of course she needs me. I am the mother; I need to be with her.”

Father: “A child at that age does not need a mother or a father, that child just needs unconditional love. I have not been able to give her time but my love has never been less.”

Judge: “Child, who would you want to be with?”

Child: “My dad.”

Mother: “She understands nothing. She is too small. She needs me.”

The Mother rushes to her and pulls her arm; she trembles with fear and drops letters in her hand. Judge orders the letters to be produced.

Father: “Please leave her, I will be away, and she can be with you.”

The father had written the letter for every single day that he was required and couldn’t be around. The letters poured love, hope, faith and motivation. The last letter was written by the child,

“Dear dad,

Nanny told me I am going to be away from you. All the days you came late, I did feel your hand on my head as I slept. When I was ill I read your letter every time before I took medicines. I won the singing competition as I had your all the best card with me.

Please dad, I will not be able to live without you. Please don’t leave me.

Your Princess.”

By Law: Child custody in India is governed by the Guardians and Wards Act 1890 and the Hindu Minority and Guardianship Act 1956. The law states that the ‘natural guardian of a Hindu minor, in respect of the minor’s person as well as in respect of the minor’s property …. in the case of a boy or unmarried girl- the father, and after him, the mother, provided that the custody of a minor who has not completed the age of five years shall ordinarily be with the mother’. However, in reality, it therefore seems that mothers most often win custody battles in our country.

In a major judgement the honourable Supreme Court made a point emphasizing the equality of the mother to fulfil the role of a guardian held that ‘gender equality is one of the basic principles of our Constitution, and, therefore, the father by reason of a dominant personality cannot be ascribed to have a preferential right over the mother in the matter of guardianship since both fall within the same category ‘

In contrast, several years later the Karnataka High Court held that ‘it is the most natural thing for any child to grow up in the company of one’s mother’ and ‘a child gets the best protection and education only through the mother even in nature’

Respecting the existing judicial system I would earnestly plead intervention that our higher judiciary articulates a specific set of guidelines on the matter. In the absence of these child custody matters the decisions lie on the discretion of an individual judge, who drawn from our society is not always free from one or other stereotypes.

References to law and related cases:
Section 6 (a) -The Hindu Minority and Guardianship Act 1956.
The Law Commission of India 83 report 1980.
Child custody Law in India – the Hindu – February 2013.

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#Bookworm….Nah

After filling the big shoes of Mr. Narayan Murthy, when Mr. Vishal Sikka was asked his take on the education system in India, his response was, “I think there is an incredible fascination for Nach Baliye and singing and dancing, and I wish we get back to a little bit of math and science.”

While earlier youngsters did not have as many avenues and books were his best friend now I would l would also disagree that avid readers are nerds.

I can visualise a typical scene where the parents are hooked on to their favourite reality show and pester their children to be in the room and read. Why should they?

It depends what you define a bookworm as. A person devoted to reading or a person who wants to enjoy and learn to read.

Practically speaking in today’s world both are important, being socially active (by socially I don’t mean buys kids a smart phone with social media loaded) and having the content to part with when the kids are social. You don’t want your kid to have all the knowledge but not the confidence/experience to make friends and play J

Before we shift all burden on the child to read or not read some points to ponder:

 Courtesy: Survey done by Hindustan Times
  • Is there enough content for them? – NBT is an apex body established by the Government of India (Ministry of Human Resource Development) in 1957 to develop reading habits and create a book culture in the country. The trust publishes more than 1,500 titles every year in almost all Indian languages besides English. This includes 25% titles for children
  • Do Parents think it’s important? When parents themselves feel other media will make the kid smarter, where do we see the kid inculcating the habit
  • Reading perception management – How does the kid perceive reading, is it a punishment or a reward J I remember my father gifting me a British Council Library membership and I would go travel from Malabar Hill to Churchgate to read books and borrow some for my friends too.

To do or not to do is the question, we make the society and books are and will always be a man’s best friend.

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Eternal Embrace!

giphy

The henna applied hand moved fervently searching the bed
The face hid under the sheet, and palm moved on the bed creases


She couldn’t find him, her heart raced
The sunrays beamed on her glowing face as she peeped out of the sheet

She scanned the room with a quick glance and trembling hands….
Picking up the sheet wrapped around she dragged out of the bed
“Rohan”….she bequeathed her voice to the room…
Her eyes fell on the large mirror that adorned one corner of the room
She felt the deep red mark on her neck with her fingers
She smiled at the miniscule vermillion that spread on her forehead
The reverie instantly broke with the realisation of his absence
Each second passed like a lifetime…she clenched the wrapped sheet
Tears welled, thoughts rushing, her heart playing the angel and the devil
The sound of the door opening ameliorated her
She turned; the tear just left her eyes, passing down her cheek
He stood there, with a bunch of her favourite yellow lilies in his hand
He placed them on the entrance table as she stormed towards him
She left the wrapped sheet on the way and rose to her feet and hugged hard
He said nothing just embraced her with all might knowing her state
“I love you, Ananya! Ananya I love you!”

 
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The Last Conversation!

Friends, I have tried to bring Ananya to you in more ways than one in my posts. Ananya for me is a simple girl who desired for basic things in life, but the relations led to experiences as she grew from a girl to a woman. The present post is a continuation and final part, you can read part 1 Broken Shadows!

Hope you like the conclusive part as the first!

The train started taking with it the heaviness of emotions that choked both Ananya and Rohan. The mountains created by frozen tears had melted and all the sensations came back rushing to their paralysed heart.

She looked at him blank and he looked at her with a number of questions. Ananya somewhere knew that the questions were waiting for a cue of initiation but she wanted nothing, she had come to terms with not only the years that had passed but also the void it had created. Sometimes the change in oneself is socially worst for the world but best for self, that’s the change she had succumbed to.

Suddenly her dry throat paused the chain of thoughts, she looked at the bottle on the other side where Rohan sat, and it rolled as the train caught momentum. She rose to claim it but Rohan held it and handed it to Ananya.

“Ananya, you have been so quiet, you still have not been able to move on, have you?”

“Rohan, I never believed in words such as moving on, I never was one of those to think its just one life or life is too short, move one, and turn the page. I gave all I had to the relation and your going away froze some emotions in me. Now they come but only for those who value them and stand by me through sun and shade. And you know if I count those they would barely fill the fingers of my right hand.” Ananya tried to smile.

“But you stopped living?” Rohan’s questions had started.

“Don’t give yourself so much importance Rohan, nothing stops, it just changes the person we once were, the wisdom you gain out of a breakup replaces the innocence you once had. It just a transition and the transition is for good. It makes you wiser.” Ananya said with a straight face.

It truly feels good that a woman is till stuck to you even after its over, makes the man feel worthy and vice versa. But its just like fooling once self when the parachute fails to open in a sky dive and one thinks its just land we will fall on.

“And you know Rohan, now our lives are not ours, there are people involved who depend on every right or wrong we do. We had something years back but now is entomb, what is left is just a small flame and that will never be put off.” Ananya had sensed what was coming her way.

“I could never get over you Ananya, I had you but couldn’t get you and kept running, I haven’t stopped running even now.”

“Don’t Rohan, life is to live not run behind. You will run and realise one day that all you have in your hands is just handful of memories.”

“I so wish if this rain of sadness could erase the memories of my head.” He sighed.

“I understand.” Ananya came close and held his restless hand. “All memories come rushing to our mind and it becomes difficult to control the heart. But what can be done, our heart is like a lost horse who without any direction or any goal just keeps running. But life has its own principles, its rules and it keeps some challenges for us which we have to agree to without challenging it” She looked deep into Rohan’s eyes.

She left his hand and slouched back and sighed, “I now have no complaints with anyone.”

“With no one Ananya? I can’t believe that. There is no one in this world who does not have a grievance with anyone.”

“Who knows it better than you Rohan, you know when in life and with whom I had grievances.”

“I know Ananya, but sometimes we have to do it, whether we like it or not.”

“Yeah, I have learnt it. We are not as important as the lives that are dependent on us. We do it all for them. All the time we just feel that we are living our life, our desires, on our terms, but after walking a long way in life we realise we just did what others liked, we are too scared to lose them and so succumb to every wish and desire of theirs, in the transition we leave our desires and our flight much behind. All left with us are two words, That’s Life!” Ananya closed her eyes in deep thought.

“Then what should be done Ananya, what if we start living our life like the way we want?”

“Nothing Rohan, we will have to pay a huge price and even after that we may not get what we ever desired.”

“Ananya, have you achieved all that you desired?” Rohan asked in all genuiness.

“No, Rohan.”

“Then….”

“Then what Rohan, I am living in the jungle made by this society living other people’s lives. In my weakness I have lost the most valuable parts of my life.”

“Would you like to have those parts back and live them?” Rohan waited in anticipation.

Ananya looked at him in silence.

“Don’t answer Ananya as the hurt I gave you will never overcome anything. I remember your silence as I spoke the last words when we parted. Why didn’t you marry, you were lonely then.”

After a long pause Ananya wiping the brimming tear in the corner of her eye spoke, “Marriage is not an answer to loneliness Rohan. One should marry when there is a desire of being with the other for the entire life. But this is not real. In real we marry thinking being under one roof we will fall in love, but even that does not happen. But where we find love, we just find it, why it happened, we don’t know. If we can’t fall for someone, we just can’t, why we don’t love them even that is unknown. Then this love hits the tangles of society, breaks the chains of all rituals, all other relations are not heeded then…its love…pure and unconditional.

“I miss you Ananya in my life.”

“I already have you Rohan since the time I loved you, to make you mine was never my desire. But these handful of memories are good to carry me through life.”

She opened the window, bright sunshine filled the compartment. “I think the storm has passed.” Ananya could see her mother waiting for her waiving as the train slowed down.