Sharmaji gets Stylish.

 
„Hold the mirror up on the right side Loveleen, I can’t see a thing.” Sharmaji said irritatingly.
“Oh ho, I really don’t understand this ritual of yours every month.” Said Loveleen frustrated.
“Cutting ones hair is a bad thing right?” Sharmaji quizzed.
“No, it isn’t. But trying to save 25 rupees and doing it at home is the issue. And be very careful the scissor is razer sharp.”
“Ok, ok I get that, now will you hold the mirror right so that I can manage the cut well.”
Loveleen kept holding the mirror as Sharmaji adjusted his face looking closely at the mirror in from of him and getting a rear view of his hair as Loveleen held the one behind him.
He was about to get a measure and cut when Loveleen shouted, “Ohhhhhh nooooooo, my dal, its burning….the cooker.” She dashed the mirror on the washbasin and ran to the kitchen.
Sharmaji gave an angry look, “I don’t understand her at all”, and he told himself nodding his head.
He picked up the mirror in one hand and tried to get a look of his locks above his nape and continued.
“OH MY GOD, Loveleen.” He cried out in terror.
Loveleen came back running and so did his younger daughter Gutti.
Loveleen shrieked, “Sharmaji, what have you done?” Gutti tried hard but could not contain her laughter. She immediately picked her phone and clicked him and sent it to her elder sister Pinky on whatapp with a caption, Dad spotted in a new look LOL and two winky smilees.”
“Is it all gone?” Sharmaji was now tensed.
Loveleen held his face examining his hair, “No, a big chunk of it till I can see your skull, hmmmm may be the size of a motichoor laddoo.”
Sharmaji started sweating as he tried feeling the portion of his head where he accidentally grazed a major chunk of his hair.
“You can’t do that with scissors, what did you do?”
“Well, you see this!” He picked up the automatic razor and displayed it to them, the girls had given me on my birthday to get rid of my nose, ears and chest hair….I used that thinking it would be quicker than the scissors, I didn’t in my dream think, it would do this.”
By this time Gutti had run into her room and was literally rolling on the floor with laughter.
“What do we do now Loveleen? Sharmaji moved his head from left to right to get a stock of the damage done.
“Do you want to consider getting rid of it all completely?
“You mean bald…”
“You already have a receding hairline, try it.”
“What try it, my father and your father in law is still alive ok, don’t you ever say try it…”He said utterly frustrated at this suggestion.
Gutti ran to the scene again, trying to maintain a serious face but burst out again as she saw him. Loveleen looked at her with big eyes and she stopped, gulping her chuckle uttered, “Dad I think, Di is not going to like it, I mean it’s her Arangetram (*it is a public graduation performance for a dance form) tomorrow. And you would be called on stage too! You know what I mean?” She somehow managed saying that without laughing.
“How about wearing a wig?” She continued trying to sound serious.
Sharmaji and Loveleen looked at her startled. “His hair is still there, not gone, it’s just the rear right which is bald…well not bald but…” She stopped realizing the panic Sharmaji was in. Sharmaji had just  stabilized and was accepting the fact of what had happened.
All three stood looking at each other in the bathroom. “Isn’t it stuffy here.” Gutti said breaking the silence, “Can we at least move out of this place.” Gutti said walking slowly out of the bathroom. Loveleen and Sharmaji followed.
Just then Pinky rushed in, dropped her bag near the door and “Dad, what did you do? I mean it’s my function tomorrow. I have been waiting so long for this day.” She immediately stopped looking at Sharmaji’s embarrassed face.
He turned back to display his doing to Pinky. It was now feeling like what a model feels on the ramp when there is a wardrobe malfunction. Pinky’s jaw dropped at the faux pas she was witnessing. She could visualize her friends mocking and laughing at her.
Half an hour into the drama and things were sinking in. Great ideas came up.
How about putting in some fake hair and sticking it there? – Pinky
Can we just take some brush bristles and cover the big patch? – of course Gutti
The Dhony look, it’s in vogue! – Pinky, trying to make his father look cool and mod.
A cap or a hat, you like Dev Anand, isn’t it, but would that cover the required? – puzzled Loveleen.
Sharmaji closed his eyes and sat there on the sofa. With renewed determination he got up like a soldier who has made up his mind to win the battle or like the way Archimedes would have said “Eureka!”
He went into the bathroom and locked himself for 1.5 hours. The girls roamed up and down in the living room trying to guard their neighbor Leena coming home and Loveleen knocked the door sometimes concerned and sometimes giving a pep talk. Later all were quiet and got back to their chores.
Sharmaji walked confidently to the living room, his demeanor was different. He had colored his hair all black after 10 years. He wore the shirt, trouser and blazer that he was to wear for the function and the biggest change was he rolled a woolen scarf that matched the blazer, hit the patch successfully and overall looked splendid.
There was pin drop silence, he looked at all three of them, finally his confidence was giving in and nervously he said, “What, not ok?”
All three unanimously said, “Sharmaji, you look awesome and so young. Love you.” As all three hugged him altogether.

The Haunted Bridge – A Perspective

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“What? You are still on the way! Mom is about to cut the cake now. You had never told me marrying a judge would be giving up on all social functions. Where are y….” Ananya shrieked over the phone.
“On the bridge… Mahanadi.” Rohan replied which in the deadening silence of the road seemed like a shout.  He realised the line had disconnected. The phone slid from the dashboard and fell below the brake pedal wrapping the earphones on Rohan’s foot. He bent to get the phone.
The long deserted road, a distant street light and the rustling of leaves by the chill winter breeze of Mahanadi made it more a sinister location. Picking up the phone,Rohan readied to take a turn from the bridge and noticed a female figure dressed in a black robe walking aimlessly towards his car from behind the gnarled oak tree. Her face was pale, almost white, her torso stiff but her bottom floated as it seemed she was walking on air towards the car. Sweat ran down his brow and a chill down his spine. He tried not to see her but could feel her walking closer and closer every passing second.
As the car took a complete right, he saw her vividly from the corner of his eyes. She had stopped walking, looked like a she was staring at Rohan standing 7 feet away. Rohan completely shaken accelerated and passed her as swiftly as he could.
500 meters and the car screeched to a complete halt, he dared to peep through the rare view mirror and there was absolute no sight of her. He tried seeing her from the side mirror; she had vanished in thin air. His body grew completely cold, his eyes hot as coal as he sped off in full speed escaping the memory of what he just experienced.
*****************************************************************************
“I know I am late for the party, the auto broke down on this deserted bridge and he dragged it on the other side of the bridge. No its ok I will wait till Shilpa comes and picks me up.” said Kreeti.
“Hello…hello…” the line had disconnected.
To avoid standing in the middle of the road she should next to the oak tree, waiting for her friend. She saw two headlights approaching her from the misty bridge. She wrapped her Halloween black costume and moved a few steps to get a good look at the lights. A car appeared from behind the fog. She was completely shaken to see no one was driving the car. She looked closely still there was no one on the driver’s seat. Her body could feel the pounding heart as she trembled with fear.
The car took a slow turn as she stood frozen on the side of the road. She immediately saw a figure now driving the car. She moved a few steps ahead as the figure inside stared at her with big round eyes. The car swiftly moved past her. Trying to escape the situation she ran and stood behind the oak tree.
The car moved 500 meters and stopped. Her heart was in her mouth and her mind was giving way almost at a pass out situation. She could actually feel every haunting nano second pass. The car moved in full speed leaving her with the sleepless nights to come of what she had just experience.
 
 

Never ending wait

„Are you upset at me, again? “ Ananya asked lovingly.
“Look, Rohan, I don’t like to be late on purpose you know that. Now stop looking at me like that with a sullen face please.” She said pushing the bunch of yellow lilies towards him.
One of the lilies moved with the breeze and touched his face. She picked it, kissed it and kept it back again.
He always called her in this garden when the world would want to meet for movies, coffee or restaurants. She felt it was their time together where she could always talk at length, free without being nudged by anyone.  
“Did I tell you about my dream…of course it was our dream?” He remained silent looking at her radiant face and a strand of hair constantly flowing from her cheek and getting stuck to her lips as she spoke. As the zephyr played with her hair, she pulled the strand and neatly tucked it behind her ear and it playfully flew on her cheek again. She let it be.
Rohan looked affectionately, this dream came in as a harbingerof the same story she repeated every time they met.
She started,” We were sitting in this same park, talking sweet nothings to each other. Planning the way we would want our parents to know about us. You did suggest you being the only child of your parents; they should come and talk to mine.”
A ball came and hit Rohan’s leg. Ananya playfully picked it up and threw it towards the child and continued. “My brother came and asked me to reach home urgently as Ma had fallen off the stairs. You immediately asked me to rush and promised me to come back and meet you in this park.”
“Rohan, since that day I have been coming here to meet you and ask you what happened and you have just chosen to not respond.”
He said nothing and sat in deadening stillness.
She too sat there in silence, whining and coaxing to get an answer but in vain. The ingénue Ananya as always picked up the flowers left it near him and left with a promise to meet the next day.
मज़ार  -ए -कैस पर जब रूहे लैला इक दिन आयी 
तोह अरमानों के मुरझाए कुछ फूल भी लायी 
लगी जब फूल वह रखने तोह कब्र से आवाज़ आयी 
चढ़ाना फूल जानेमन मगर आहिस्ता आहिस्ता। 

The Infinite Wait

 
„Are you upset at me, again? “ Ananya asked lovingly.

“Look, Anupam, I don’t like to be late on purpose you know
that. Now stop looking at me like that with a sullen face please.” She said
pushing the bunch of yellow lilies towards him.

One of the lilies moved with the breeze and touched his
face. She picked it, kissed it and kept it back again.

He always called her in this garden when the world would
want to meet for movies, coffee or restaurants. She felt it was their time
together where she could always talk at length, free without being nudged by
anyone.  

“Did I tell you about my dream…of course it was our dream?”
He remained silent looking at her radiant face and a strand of hair constantly
flowing from her cheek and getting stuck to her lips as she spoke. As the zephyr
played with her hair, she pulled the strand and neatly tucked it behind her ear
and it playfully flew on her cheek again. She let it be.

Anupam looked affectionately,
this dream came in as a harbinger
of the same story she repeated every time they met.

She started,” We
were sitting in this same park, talking sweet nothings to each other. Planning
the way we would want our parents to know about us. You did suggest you being
the only child of your parents; they should come and talk to mine.”

A ball came and
hit Anupam’s leg. Ananya playfully picked it up and threw it towards the child
and continued. “My brother came and asked me to reach home urgently as Ma had
fallen off the stairs. You immediately asked me to rush and promised me to come
back and meet you in this park.”

“Anupam, since
that day I have been coming here to meet you and ask you what happened and you
have just chosen to not respond.”

He said nothing
and sat in deadening stillness.

She too sat there
in silence, whining and coaxing to get an answer but in vain. The ingénue Ananya
as always picked up the flowers left it near him and left with a promise to
meet the next day.
 
मज़ार  -ए -कैस पर जब रूहे लैला इक दिन आयी 
तोह अरमानों के मुरझाए कुछ फूल भी लायी 
लगी जब फूल वह रखने तोह कब्र से आवाज़ आयी 
चढ़ाना फूल जानेमन मगर आहिस्ता आहिस्ता। 

The Two Incomplete Halves.

 
 
She was
feeling everyone stare at her as she walked into the canteen to have tea.

“Do you
see her bob cut hair?” Shilpa whispered.

“And
where’s her cigarette, didn’t see her pack since morning.” Viral added.

“That’s what
rehabs do, don’t they? They get you rid of certain habits.” Shilpa chuckled
again.
Avoiding all the talk Ananya darted her way to the
farthest table of the canteen. She looked at her watch, it was just 16.00, two
more hours to go and she can avoid all talk and leave office, she thought to herself.
Ananya felt utterly disconcerted.

Just a table away, “Look Ananya is back, wo…she
looks different.”

“Yeah, she looks hotter with the new look.”

“No I mean, looks like her rehab rumor and 3 month sabbatical
sounds real now.”

“Wasn’t she involved with that tall guy?”

“Of course she was, in fact he left her I hear.”

“Anyway she is not worth it, sad, depressed.”

In trepidation Ananya grabbed her tea cup with both
hands and closed her eyes squeezing the cup hard trying to meditate and count
from 10 to 1 as the therapist had instructed in case she felt anxious and needed
to avoid negative thoughts.

10…

 “Why can’t
we be together Ananya?

09…..

“My parents would never agree to me marrying a non-Brahmin,
Rohan.”

08…

“We love each other, tell your parents nothing can
come between us.”

07…..

“Why don’t you understand, my parents have told me
to be away and not talk to you.”

06….

“Tell those pricks, enough is enough. Stop getting
emotionally blackmailed. Or else I will lose it.”

05….

“Why lose it Rohan, don’t say a word to my parents
ok?”

04….

“They are, in fact they are the worst parents
anyone can have, and they don’t understand your wishes. I will show them what I
am; they need to be taught a lesson.”

03….

“Stttoppp ittt Rohaaan, yooou starttted agaaiin.
Mmmy parrrentsss arree aaall I hhave; theeey hhhave ddd..done eeeverything fo..fo..foor
me. D..D..Don’t you abussse th..them.”

02….

“Ananya, I have lost it. Listen I don’t want a
thing from you. Just get lost you stammering b**** and ask your parents too.
You don’t deserve me. You are nothing but an incomplete sick stammering woman. I
leave you now.”

01…..

“R..R…R..Rohan…..”

00

“A…Ann..Annnaya.”

Ananya slammed a tight slap on his face as she
opened her eyes in rage. She was pulled back to reality. He stood there holding
his red cheek, tears welled up.

“The…teaaa..wwasss …spilllinnngg…ittt..woulldd…sc..sc..scald…you.
Sooo..ii thougghhtt …buutt you..”

“Yooou staaammmer? Whattt’s youuur n…name?” Ananya
asked looking straight into his eyes.

“A..A..A…Anupam.”

Ananya’s anxiety melted in a second. She had met
someone who was like her, a mirror image.

“D..D…D..Do yyou want tea?” The conversation had
just begun between the two incomplete halves.

 Note: Neither Ananya nor Anupam with their stammering were never incomplete, incomplete were those who could not understand them.

 

The unwanted.



„What about these scars doctor? “she asked holding the mirror looking at her face.

“That’s alright; some scars take a lifetime to heal.” said Dr. Sunil in a pacifying tone.

“When can I leave, doctor?” She stared at the open window seeing the children play in the garden as the morning rays of sun fell on the freshly mowed garden.

“In a day or two Ananya.” exclaimed Dr. Sunil looking at the reports.

“Does she have the address?” he asked Bela privately. Bela nodded.

She gave one look at the hospital where she spent almost 18 months and picked up the bag filled with toys, a gift pack and a pair of her clothes that Bela had gifted her on Diwali.

“If you expect nothing from anybody, you’re never disappointed.”

“With closed ones too?”

“You don’t expect from strangers do you?”

She would have pulled the stuffed kangaroo and felt it and put it in her bag several times in the 5 hour train journey. She inquisitively looked outside the window thinking of how things get to normalcy, just didn’t seem that the state had the worst terrorist attack just 18 months back.

She was excited and nervous at the same time.

“We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face… we must do that which we think we cannot.”

“But that’s my family; they will support me and make me confident.”

“Hopefully, Amen.”

She reached the front courtyard, ‘Nayaks’ the name plate made by her still hung there. She felt it with her fingers before opening the gate to the front courtyard. She had replayed the scene of her daughter running to her, her husband so happy and pleasant hugging her so many times that she actually knew her words and had rehearsed them several times.

The door was open; as she entered she could see the toys lying in the living room giving her the assurance of her daughter will be in her arms in no time now. Her aunt came down the stairs and was frozen after seeing her. She took several minutes to react, followed by a forced hug.

“Aunty, aren’t you happy, surprised to see me?” Said Ananya looking at her aunt’s expressionless face.

After a long pause, “yes, Ananya, I am, in fact we did get a letter from the hospital just a day back of your return. Come sit in the living room.”

That wasn’t her aunt’s natural self. Why I am treated like an outsider, thought Ananya. She entered the living room; one look around felt as if the house was being taken care of. She each day would think how would they manage without her. In one corner she saw a small picture of her placed on the side table. She remembered the words of being confident and positive and after all it was natural for them to think she lost her life in the blast that took place when she had been to the market.

She sat on the edge of her sofa quietly rubbing her one feet on another, nervously clinging to her bag wanting nothing but to see her husband and daughter, she must have been 4 years by now.

After a while her daughter, Ira rushed in the living room, Ananya could no longer contain herself and broke down in tears as she grabbed her and hugged her hard. She swiftly removed all the toys she had got for her and placed her on her lap.

“Ira, did you miss mumma, my princess?”

Ira immediately rushed to her father and wrapped to his leg dropping the stuffed kangaroo on the way.

“Ananya.” called out Rohan.

She rose.

“How have you been?”

She was jolted by the formality that wrapped the question. It was nothing like what she had thought it to be.

“One ought to hold on to one’s heart; for if one lets it go, one soon loses control of the head too.”

“Why would I want to think with my head, my family needs my heart?”

“Depends on the situation and the circumstance, now you will always need both.”

She brought herself to reality and handed the gift she had got in his hands.

“Rohan, honey, are you home?” she said as she entered the house.

The voice sounded familiar as she walked straight to the living room and stood next to Rohan.

“Oh…” giving a startled look, “Ananya….it’s you.” She looked at Ananya and immediately glanced at Rohan.

That was Ruchi, her first cousin, but what was she doing in my house? Her addressing Rohan as honey, Ananya was trying to put the puzzle pieces in place when her aunt broke the ice, “I think you must be tired Ananya, why don’t you rest?”

“The first step toward change is awareness. The second step is acceptance.”

“What if I don’t like the change?”

“Then think what if you do not have a choice of changing the change?”

She picked her bag still blank at what was happening looking at the faces around knowing she was the unwanted one. She knew that Ruchi would have come to support her child as she was too young, but she had to know more. Ananya being an orphan was raised by her aunt and was not among those  jump at things and seek explanations.

“We tried really hard to find you for several months. Hospitals, police, posters all, but no trace. We finally placed your picture on the market square and even joined the candle march to force government to act.” Rohan said trying hard to sound convincing at the dinner table.

“It was generous of Ruchi, to then come here and take up the family responsibility for Ira….”added her aunt.

“And Rohan…” Ruchi completed pressing Rohan’s hand sitting next to him at the dinning.

“Hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man.”

“Can reality hurt?”

“Depends if what you want out of reality is not a dream.”

She had not uttered a word but been a silent listener. The pain she had lived in the past few hours was more than what she went through in her treatment of 18 months. She passed by to keep her plate when she overheard…

“How long has she come for?” Ruchi said in a hushed tone.

“I don’t know, I don’t think you need to overreact.” Rohan replied.

“And did you see her face, it’s full of scars, Ira will have nightmares every night. I can’t let her be here in my house. Get that straight.” She came out slamming the door behind her.

Ananya washed her plate and tip toed to the room. She sat on the bed and picked up the book with the grey writings of her conversations with Bela over the 18 months which Bela had penned and handed over before her leaving. The last page was an address and two notes of INR 1000 each.

“If you ever reach this page and feel the need, the doors are open and you have the address.”

Next day there was no trace of Ananya in the Nayak’s house.

She left a note, “I wasn’t a pile on Rohan and will never be; now my life awaits me.”

She came back to the hospital and Dr. Sunil employed her as an intern at his hospital. Her life had just begun.