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Moonstruck! First Valentine!

valentines-day-dinner

She stormed in through the door pushing the waiter aside walking straight at the end of the restaurant. The waiter turned and so did all the young couples seated to celebrate the occasion. The slow jazz in her head had been replaced with hard rock where the image she saw in a split second was playing like a leaf falling from a tree in slow motion again and again.

She dumped herself on the last large round corner table, which was beautifully laid with a white laced tablecloth, flowers neatly arranged, a red candle lit next to ‘reserved’ label placed. She was neither in a state nor mood to notice any detail around. Her head was on fire and her tears were play hide and seek of not embarrassing her in public.

“How could he?” she said to herself disconsolately.

“Who?” a voice fell on her ears like the cold breeze that comes through when you open the window to a heated room.

She tried to look at the frame on the other side of the candle; the candle light was not enough to get a glimpse more than a white shirt, a side of a neck and his lips.

She was shaken from her thoughts, “I am sorry, this is reserved.” She said trying to get up noticing the label placed on the table.

“No, it’s not reserved, it’s complicated, you can sit here!” he said on a lighter note. As she stood he noticed her over the candle light in a beautiful white dress, long earrings that dangled and playfully touching her shoulders, her delicate hands holding yellow lilies making a perfect combination against her white background. She kept moving her bracelet against her wrist with one hand making a public display of her mental state. She was in six inch stilettos, moving her weight from one foot to another making it obvious she wasn’t used to them.

“You may sit, till you gather yourself.” He gestured with his hand. She noticed his hand, sleeves rolled up, strong hands, long fingers.

She sat dropping the flowers next to the gift, “I don’t need to gather myself, I did all I could.”

“Am sure you did, I mean flowers, gift and…what more could you do.” His voice had a charm and she could feel the chuckle.

“and…”

“I mean and you, perfect for the occasion, isn’t it, so I truly agree how could he?” now she could see his smile too.

“I never thought it would be her, I saw them today, hand in hand, kissing zealously.”

“oh so that the problem, he kissed her. Anyway, I am Rohan. He said moving his hand towards her.

“Hi, I am Ananya, she shook his hand hesitantly and immediately took it back.” She hadn’t felt rougher hands than those. “and that’s not the problem….I mean the kissing bit.”

“Then…the hand in hand bit…by the way nice to meet you Ananya.” He chortled again.

“No, it’s my 25th birthday today.”

“Ah, that’s the problem Ananya, It shouldn’t be women get better with age.”

“Ahhh, no, it is him with her, that’s the problem.” She at last blurted out.

The waiter stood there like the hour hand of the clock looking at the minute and the second’s hand.

“Now what?” she looked arrow straight at him.

“Can you please get us two white wines and something to eat please?” Rohan directed the hour hand to move.

“Vegetarian” the seconds hand announced.

“So he with her, how long?” Rohan tried getting analytic.

“I don’t know, I don’t want to know, she didn’t look great, I thought my birthday would be a big thing for him, at least that’s what he said a few days back. And this was my first formal Valentine.”

“Formal?”

“Yes for the rest, I just told my friends I had one, but actually sat back home watching movies and munching popcorn. Are you writing something?”

“ahhh get that, so formal Valentine.” He paused, “Writing, no, nothing.”

The wine arrived and so did the VEG starters. Rohan raised the glass and looked at her; she had plunged into the eateries.”

He raised his glass, “Happy Birthday Ananya”…Ananya gave a puzzled look with her mouth stuffed.

“You know I have been starving since last 2 months, to look the best this day…and he just didn’t care…now I realize, I am so hungry.”

“Mission accomplished, eat to your hearts content.”

She spoke of her quirks and he heard it with delight giving her a new perspective to look at things. A long dinner went on for 2 hours exchanging details about her.

“And that’s how I fell for him; I was so looking forward to have him as my valentine and to exchange gifts, but the sight I saw. I would never speak to him ever.”

“Ananya!” Rohan stopped her from whining further and came a little close to her and sat next to her.

She saw him, “Ruffled hair, sharp eyes and nose, thin lips, light stubble and his strong arms made him look very handsome.

“Ananya” he shook her from her reverie. There is nothing that ever is bad, everything happens for a reason and happens for good, okay!

For Ananya, she has fallen in love at first sight…”yes” she murmured hiding her admiration being exposed.

“Do you love or miss him?”

“No, I realize I don’t but it was my first valentine, I had thought of a lovely dinner, flowers, exchange of gifts….”

“Did you have one already?” he smiled.

She noticed the candle light, the beautiful ambiance, then flowers…it was all there.

He picked up a flower from the vase, “Will you be my Valentine?”

“Yes, I will…” she was happiness personified. “But my gift?” added gleefully.

“Oh..” he made a gloomy face and handed over a piece of paper to her, “will this do?”

She was mesmerized at what she saw, a beautiful portrait of hers. “It looks so live, thank you…I …I don’t believe you drew me so well. Thank you…I mean…”

“Shhhh…so now you have a gift too.” I am an artist, had come to capture some valentine moments for my story…with no idea I would meet my Valentine here.

“Can I drop you home?” Ananya offered, “I promise I wouldn’t whine now.”

“Okay, let’s go, I wouldn’t let you whine ever.”

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V Day Dilemmas – A Fiction

Valentine Dilemmas

 

Ranjit had planned it all well; he was particularly waiting for this Valentine’s Day to gift Sheetal, his girlfriend since 8 months (ok, 7 months 9 days 14 hours according to Sheetal) a nice tangible present. Times have surely changed Ranjit thought to himself, who believes in the emotion of love or beautiful words, it’s all about the occasion “Valentine’s Day” and “the tangible gift” for which he had left on a half day leave from work to scout and keep his girlfriend happy.

The yellow and white lilies were picked and a check marked on the list. He walked into Palladium and started window shopping the big brand shops that would match her taste. None of the hand bags on display had a price tag on it. He wasn’t sure if walking in and just asking for prices and not buying was as per “rules” of brand shopping. He was casually walking down the aisle when he peeped into the Gucci shop. The two saleswomen gave pleasant comforting smiles that prompted him to walk in. The store was a huge hall with a big chandelier in between, he got seated on one of the leather fur sofas as the saleswoman started displaying the new, regular and vintage collection. After seeing around 7 bags he was thoroughly confused on which one to pick, all of them were elegant and would suit Sheetal he thought. He checked the prices and was relieved that he had saved more than enough to select the best.

Rohan entered the store in great hurry. “Could you show me the Cabas collection in bamboo, both leather and en python please.” He crisply asked and lost himself in his blackberry. He looked at the handbags and frowned a bit. “I think she already has these, in the new collection anything?” he said irresolute. “Sir, this is the new collection.” said the saleswoman curtly. He started glancing through the store at all the beautifully displayed handbags when his eye fell on the uncertain Ranjit and he smiled.

“Hi there.” Walking up to him he tried starting a conversation. Ranjit turned and stood next to him. “I am Rohan.” “Hello myself Ranjit.” he responded ambivalently. “I am here to get a present for my wife, Ananya. I know this sounds a bit odd, but would it be possible for you to give me that bouquet of yellow and while lilies. They are her favourite and it would remind her of our first Valentine when I gifted these. I would accompany a hand written poem of mine, she would value it over any other gift I’d buy for her.” He completed in one go ending with a broad smile. “Yes sure Rohan, take it man. Anything to keep the woman happy.” He said handing over the bouquet and patting Rohan’s arm. “Thanks dude, you are here to buy your wife a gift?” Rohan added. “No, haven’t reached there, still a girlfriend, it’s difficult to choose one in this large collection.” He smiled. “I insist please let me do something for this bouquet that you so gratefully gave me without any apprehension.” After much hesitance and lot of insisting Ranjit accepted the best of Cabas collection from Rohan. They exchanged cards and decided to meet over drinks the next Saturday.

 

 

 

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Just a little more….Life!

near-death-experienceShe found herself running endlessly towards the light at the end of the tunnel. It was as if she would breathe only if she reached that light. She looked around just to find pitch darkness; she felt tired at times but could not stop and kept running. She would look around again and again but it was too dark to see anything. She did not understand what made her run; she did not once look behind. The road looked endless, one look at her made her feel she was feather light. She wore a white satin gown, free flowing, weightless.  She looked around again and could see her face on the wall of the tunnel, her face looked radiant, it had the glow she had never seen and she felt happy like never before and beautiful than ever. Where the light wrinkles she had seen a couple of days are gone? She thought to herself as she kept running. She turned her face to the other side of the tunnel and could see a girl in a mother’s arms; the mother delighted looking at the bundle of joy.

There were people whom she recognised and some she didn’t. She placed her fingers on her brow and tried to recollect a man standing next to the mother but just couldn’t. She looked again and saw a young girl in school listening attentively to her teacher; the image vanished in a jiffy. She could then see her young self with her best friend laughing and enjoying. When was the last time she laughed that loud, she wondered? By now the images on the walls of the tunnel had completely captivated her and she had forgotten of the tunnel, the run and the distance. She could see her beloved on his knees holding a ring proposing her, she hadn’t been so happy ever. These flashes would appear and disappear rapidly and being replaced by the next one. She wanted to think or say something but was not able to. She saw her husband and daughter sitting on a dining table praying. She wanted to run towards her daughter but couldn’t change course of her path.

She closed her eyes but could see the images, the ones she saw on the wall. Everything was clear when she heard shouts and opened her eyes startled. She was confounded and looked down; she saw her feet were above the ground as she ran towards the light. Completely mystified she tried to stop running but couldn’t stop her feet. She heard shouts again and a big thump on her chest as if a train in full velocity had hit her chest, she ran faster towards the light and another big jolt! She couldn’t contain it in herself any further. She was perplexed at the thought of her running without her feet on the ground, the light at the end of the tunnel seemed very far now.

The last one came as a thunderbolt pushing her on her chest so hard that she fell backwards as if being sucked by the vacuum towards the other side of the light. She could see being pulled and the light at the end of the tunnel vanishing in a distance. It was so quick she had no time to react. The ‘pulse is back, doctor! She is back!’ ….the words sounded like a distant echo….’it’s a miracle, doctor, the defibrillator worked!’ She opened her eyes at a hazy frame of a man in a white coat and a young woman standing next to him. She could vaguely hear a familiar voice chanting the Mahamrutyunjay Shloka….

ॐ त्र्यम्बकं यजामहे
सुगन्धिं पुष्टिवर्धनम्
उर्वारुकमिव बन्धनान्
मृत्योर्मुक्षीय मामृतात् ॥
Om Triyambakam Yajaamahe
Sugandhim Pushtti-Vardhanam
Urvaarukamiva Bandhanaan
Mrtyormuksshiya Maaamrtaat ||

Meaning:
1: Om, We Worship the Three-Eyed One (Lord Shiva),
2: Who is Fragrant (Spiritual Essence) and Who Nourishes all beings.
3: May He severe our Bondage of Samsara (Worldly Life), like a Cucumber (severed from the bondage of its Creeper),
4: … and thus Liberate us from the Fear of Death, by making us realize that we are never separated from our Immortal Nature.

This post is a submission to the IndiSpire topic #DeathisBeginning

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Broken Shadows!

 

She entered the dingy waiting room at the railway station. It was a small square room with three benches against the three walls and a door on the fourth. The stench complementing the dirt dropped around making it evident that it had not be used, frequented or seldom cleaned. She moved to the bench on the left of the room and tried to sit there, but she noticed the bench was not clean. She moved on the opposite bench, a small window faced the railway tracks; she placed the papers in her hands and the bag on the bench and wrapped her handkerchief on her hand and pushed the window out. After some struggle she could force the rusted hinges to budge. The rain showered just to confess the earth of its love. She kept staring at the downpour thinking it rained the same that night.  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….
“How did you come here Ananya?”
“That doesn’t matter Rohan, the rains are not stronger than your voice on the phone that even though was calm screamed you would leave me.”
“You are drenched, don’t stand there, and come inside.”
“I have lots of questions Rohan, but don’t give me an answer. Just say it once that Reema is better than me. She has it all beauty, care, money and love that I don’t. Just say it, my heart will be lighter and life will be easier to live then.” There was no comparison of the speed of her tears to that of the downpour.
“It won’t be easier Ananya, it will be even difficult. The thought of living without you kills me in an instant.”
“Looking at your innocent face, I feel like believing in you again Rohan.” She added.
“What I am saying is true, but I also know that if you see the storm coming head on it makes sense to turn your boat and move away.” He added with a straight emotionless face.
“You have started talking a lot of sense Rohan. I just regret that why I did not get this sense before you did. Today please also tell me what if our paths ever cross in the future then….”
Before she could complete he said, “Then we will not promise each other to meet again Ananya.”
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….
Ananya just dropped herself on the bench, staring at the slow moving fan on the ceiling, lost in oblivion.
After a while a man entered hastily and sat on the adjacent bench trying to read the papers in his again and again. Ananya too lost in her thoughts did not notice any activity. He noticed her, dragged himself on the bench to get a closer view. The woman he saw looked tired, her hair were loosely tied in a bun which touched her nape. Her sky blue chiffon saree was worn perfect; her wedges were seen beneath the saree as she rested her feet forward. Her face looked like a tired bird that had migrated miles to reach home. Her hands showed she was used to working and not in any luxury.
“Ananya?”
She opened her eyes slowly and she straightened her head that rested on the bench. Moving forward she tried to recognise the frame of the man under the dim light bulb.
“Rohan, is that you?” her voice had matured, speaking out loud that she was a woman and not a girl in late twenties anymore.
“Yes, it’s me.” A restless voice responded, the breathing was loud and hard. A closer look at Rohan made her realise, his face was worn out and worried, his dark lips exposed that he was a chain smoker now. His feet constantly moving as he spoke.
 “How are you Rohan?” her voice calm as a still lake.
“How are you Ananya? 6 years have passed and we meet today.” He said unsurprisingly.
“What difference does it make in meeting today or not meeting the entire life?” She sighed.
“You haven’t changed a bit, Ananya.”
“What would we have got by both of us changing Rohan; only one among us changed sufficed. You changed was enough.”
“So you left him Ananya, you didn’t marry?”
“Gaddi lagne wali hai, chheti aao” (“the train is going to arrive, don’t be late.”) the station master announced and left in a jiffy.
“It’s already late.” Ananya murmured to herself and got up slowly moving towards the door, Rohan saw the papers on the bench left behind. He picked them and got up, the bulb hanging flashed on the papers and the only thing he could make out that they were legal papers which read ADOPTION.
“Ananya, these papers are yours, left behind.”
Ananya turned startled, “No, I have mine.” as she put her hand forth to show the papers. The light bulb flashed on the paper and it read, DIVORCE.
Rohan quietly took the papers from her hand and handed her papers back. This train journey was going to be really long.
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I Want You Tonight!

“It’s my land; I know you don’t get booze here! It’s banned in this state.” She confidently said it. “Ani, I don’t understand why you like yourself being proven wrong always.”

“Yeah right!” she exclaimed making a face.

“What do I get if I prove you wrong?” Rohan held Ananya’s face close to his looking into her eyes.

“Anything, as I know you will never get it here.” Ananya said kissing his hand.

“Are you sure, anything….you know it’s been a while and this time I would really be demanding.”

“Oh, I am confident, anything.”

“Cool, see you in a bit and wear the best you can, be ready….tonight is mine.”

“Sure, will wait and be ready to welcome your sad sulking face.”

He put on his sneakers and ran out. The hotel room closed with a thud behind him. Ananya had never seen him so happy and carefree.

Ananya painted her nails and went for a shower. She changed in a black short slip before sneaking into the bed under the comforter reading ‘Things beyond Forever’. After a while he opened the door and walked in.

She peeped over the book, “Welcome, Mr. Engineer and show me your face.” She looked at him closely, he was perspiring profusely, his white tee completely wet. Droplets of sweat trickled down his face as he seriously looked at her. “What?” she said aloud.

His lips broke into a smile as he revealed a bottle wrapped in brown paper. “oh, gosh…..nooooooo.” she hid her face behind the book.

He ran towards her, trying to sneak into the comforter. “No, please take a shower.” She pushed him. “You are right come.” He pulled her hand.

“No, I had one…” “And who said we can have just one.” And he pulled her in the bathroom. He filled two glasses with vodka and orange juice and placed them on the wash basin. Then she sat on the bath tub edge and he on the toilet seat, he pulled a Davidoff and smoked telling her how he managed the booze. She looked at him with sheer amazement sipping the vodka.

He then took a shower constantly talking to her on things that are different in “Her Land”.

“So, now that you have lost the bet, brace yourself honey.” He said pouring another drink.

She kissed leaving her red lipstick mark on his white tee, “Will this do?” “Are you kidding, the stakes are high honey.” He pulled a deck of cards.

They played poker, where she bet her clothes one after another and kept losing. They finished ¾ of the bottle, he was tipsy and she was high. He pushed her on the floor completely covering her body with his. His fingers circled the periphery of her lips as he looked in her eyes. He held her hand not leaving it for a moment.
 

She seduced him in her ways…caressing his weaknesses and switching the best of love and lust in him. She let him discover her in every way he desired. He engulfed her as she closed her eyes in anticipation of the epitome of this sensuous rendezvous. She gave up her defences as he fondled her supple body. Love reached its zenith and lust at pinnacle as his rawness thrust her. He longed for her fragrance as she for the sweetness of his sweat trickling down his brow onto her body. At one moment their passion was on fire giving in to the rhythmic divine oneness.

Their bodies ignited as they made zealous love before falling into each other’s arms in the wee hours. He was right, he was really demanding that night. They talked, laughed, whisper sweet nothings in between making love through the night. Rohan and Ananya were on a different high…they were high on life!
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The Unknown!

“So it’s been 23 episodes of season 2 of secrets of the past life, how do you feel right now Dr. Nita?”
” oh i feel on top of this world right now, the season has been a greater success than the first one, the producers are happy and we are already planning the third season.”

“And how do you plan to end this season?”

 “Well, the last episode is even special with my best friend’s son coming to find the answers to his phobia. He is a special child and viewers would really be wonder struck when he finds the reason of this phobia by travelling in his past.”

 “That sounds interesting; Dr.Nita is it true that you are moving back with your boyfriend you left 11 years ago? What was the reason of leaving him then and why together now?”

“No personal questions please!”
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….
“Hello and welcome viewers, I would like to thank you for the amazing response received for this season and tonight I would like to close this series with the most thrilling experience you will have in the history of television. With me I have a boy who is just 11 years old, the youngest participant we have and we will find answers for him together in a few hours. Please welcome Aditya Malhotra.”

The stage was a huge set with 50 people seated facing a podium which was lit in blue lights. There was a bed and a chair next to it. The crew, the camera and the crowd looked eagerly at the small door as the huge flash light focused on the gate. For 10 seconds there was no sight of the boy and then a frail looking image appeared at the gate. Aditya just stepped on the stage and crumpled on the ground, his body coiled shouting “no lights please, please shut the light off” the boy wouldn’t get up even after the crew reaching out. Nita walked to him finally and touched his shoulder and he responded to the touch and got up. Lights remained off and the boy got up and walked center stage in dim light. Cameras were rolling as Nita settled and ask the boy if he felt better.

“Dear viewers, meet Aditya. Aditya has a phobia for bright lights and prefers to be in the dark. He speaks less, is an introvert with few friends and likes listening to trance music as stated by Aditya mom.” then turning towards Aditya she said, “Well Aditya, here we have something in common, i too like trance music. So what exactly is your phobia and how do you feel?” In a feeble voice the boy spoke, “I don’t like bright light. I feel scared of light.” “Don’t worry boy, the reason for your fear will be known and it will be gone when you leave this stage.”

The process began, “Close your eyes Aditya and concentrate on my voice.” Aditya at once spoke “I have heard your voice before.”

The doctor smiled and “yes, I do have a common voice now don’t speak and concentrate on my voice.” “As i count from 10 to 1 your body is getting light, 10…9…8…you are feeling relaxed and are moving away from this real world around you, 7….6….5 all the energy is released from your body 4……3….and with count of 2….and 1….your energy is out of your body and you can see your body now….are you with me.” Nita spent around 40 minutes to get Aditya to the state she wanted. “Where are you Aditya now? Are you able to hear me?”

“Yes i am, but I don’t know where I am.”

“What do you see around? How do you feel?”

“I don’t see anything around…”

Nita looked puzzled, generally at this stage her subject spoke of their past life, what was wrong here? She thought. “OK how do you feel Aditya?”

I feel in a small room or an enclosed space.”

“Is anyone around?” “No, it’s just me.”

“And you see nothing?”

“No nothing.”

May be Aditya was blind in the past life, Nita tells herself. “And do you hear anything?”

“Yes, I hear a woman, someone I know for long….” he stops and speaks again “I hear her every day. I am with her always.”

“And who do you think she is” “She….she is….i think my mother.”

“Good and what does she talk to you?”

 “She tells me, I am beautiful….and she has bought very good clothes for me.” Aditya’s face showed excitement and a smile and his eyes were still shut. “She speaks to a man about me, he too talks to me but not every day.”

“Go on Aditya….What else does she talk to you?”

 “She says she cooks for me, she listens to music, she talks to her friends about me.”

“And….what happens next as days past…move on Aditya?”

“Next….” the look on Aditya’s face changes, “I hear a lot of loud voices….as if people are fighting.” “I feel scared, I don’t like it, I feel like running away.”

“What are the voices about?”

“I don’t know, I feel scared and keep feeling like that till the time I sleep.”

“What do you hear now?”

 “I hear people only fighting, I feel my mom hugging me, feeling me, crying…but I feel helpless.”

“What are your last memories?”

Aditya is wet with perspiration as he murmurs “My mom telling me, I love you Kino…..”

Nita felt choked as Aditya spoke those words, tears rolled off her eyes and she could not speak anything. The entire studio was high on emotions and there was absolute silence in the entire studio as Aditya lay trembling on the bed coiled completely like a baby.

Nita gathered herself and carried on the process, “Don’t worry, you now know the reasons of your deep fears and with time will be able to overcome them. With a countdown you will now gather your conscious self and move away from your past memories. 3…..2…..1…gather yourself Aditya and slowly open your eyes.” Adiya opened his eyes and sat on the bed. “How do you feel now?” “I feel light and freed from the enclosure.”

The episode ended on the highest note as Nita wrapped the show. She escorted Aditya towards the van outside where her mother waited. She felt uneasy and heavy, something she knew on the stage and camouflaged well….Aditya opened the door of the van and before getting in looked straight into Nita’s eyes, “It’s you…..I recognise the touch…I heard you voice….I heard Kino everyday…I heard your name too. It’s you…I just hid it well.” Nita left him and ran back to her car.




………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
Next day the local newspapers read, “Renowned hypnotherapist and socialite Dr. Nita Kishore moved in with his long rumoured actor boyfriend Siddhesh Singh. The couple patched up after 11 years after they decided to part ways over Nita aborting Siddhesh’s child to avoid ruining the upcoming actor’s career.” Aditya is now a normal child, guess he has overcome his fears and no longer thinks of them.

 
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Comedy is tragedy plus time!

I wanted to write a follow up on the last blogas it was in two parts, however a specific mail made me try my hand at something humorous. My rare try at it. On second thoughts the mailer was right with so much of tension and betrayal around one would want to come home and read something light. So here’s a shot at it, am too serious to take it up as a permanent theme but all I can say is ‘this time you got lucky!’

I got up as fresh as a daisy; I hadn’t felt so delicate before. It was an important day; a big day thus had slept early last night. I had to leave early and reach well in time not to miss the flight to Delhi. The time to reach the airport was far more than the inflight time! Irony of the ‘infrastructure development’ in my country!

I got dressed quickly and slipped into my favourite trousers. The minute I zipped it the button went flying and hit the floor. For more than a minute I just kept staring at the fallen button and cursed my luck at that. I didn’t have time to stitch it in time. I pulled an old one, the one that hung in my wardrobe in the set of clothes you buy without a reason and have been categorised as ‘untouchables’.

I slipped into it, well trust me it just sounds cool saying slipped. I had to struggle, pull it on both sides and wrestle hard to button it. I had a quick look at the mirror to see the most button popping, zipper ripping, and seam splitting trousers I had ever seen. I quickly gulped my juice, picked my bag and left after bowing quickly to the Tirupathi Balaji idol.

The juice starts working on me almost 20 minutes after I drink it. I felt the urge but stopped it, I wasn’t even half way and there was no way I could take a break. I sat still with all the weight I could put on my butt to stop it. At the same time was scared to put pressure that the seams of the trouser fall apart. Signal after signal was testing my patience. I pulled open my purse to check if I had taken my tickets, yes I had neatly tucked it in my passport. Well somethings are in order I thought to myself when I realised I had forgotten my phone at home. ‘Gosh! Common….I looked at the Ganesh idol on the cab dashboard and the dangling Hanuman holding a mountain over the mirror.’ I just couldn’t believe this was happening. The only thing I could afford was make a sick face and look at God.

By the time we reached the airport, my kidneys along with intestines were on the verge of bursting. Pressing my legs hard together I got down. Got my bags off and started to walk. ‘Edhu kamiya iruku!’ shouted the cab driver. I looked startled at him and first looked all over myself to see if my trousers were in place. ‘What?’ I retorted. ‘edu pathadu?’ he went again. ‘Dude I am in no mood for language translation.’ I actually said it. He went even louder in the south Indian language and even more animated. I realised through his gestures what he hinted at. I trusted the note in his hand and walked off thinking why don’t people understand emergencies.

I was late for the flight, no matter how much I try…it always happens to me. I looked at the snakelike queue for collecting the boarding pass and an equally long queue for security check-in. ‘Today is not my day!’ I looked at the Sai baba keychain hanging on the guy’s bag ahead of me – thinking why me? ‘Any Delhi passengers in the queue please come forward.’ I heard an angel’s voice.

Now I could bypass the queue and go to the rest room after security check, I wondered. I collected my boarding pass in a jiffy and walked to the security check, I walked straight nudging people and ignoring the horrendous stares I was getting. I pushed myself, removed my laptop placed it in the tray and walked to get checked, my eyes glued to the restroom. The boarding pass got stamped and while handing it over, she dropped it. I gave her the look that I would kill her for this sin. If I bend the seams fall apart and I didn’t want to challenge my bursting kidneys. She picked it up and said sorry. Not all is bad…I looked at the Durga ma pendant she was wearing under her shirt.

I collected my bag and rushed to the toilet and sat on the seat….’Ah….what a relief! This is heavenly, on second thoughts it isn’t!’ I sat feeling relieved looking at the mosaic flooring. I looked at the watch and then pulled the toilet paper. A small piece of paper came to my hand and the empty roll rolled on the stand mocking at me. I looked around but couldn’t find anything. This was not happening. I reached out for my bag and looked in for tissues, there weren’t any. I got up and quietly opened the door; I could see the stack of paper just across the door. I will quickly go grab the roll and get in again, I thought to myself. I sneaked out with my trousers half rolled down and rushed to the roll. I grabbed it and turned to see a long queue of women of all age, shape and sizes looking baffled at me. I didn’t bother much and rushed in. I could hear the laughter, the giggles, the lol’s and rofl’s of the world. Not looking eye in eye, embarrassed from head to toe, I washed my hands and rushed out as if no one around me existed. My name had been announced twice, the next thing I remember was the flight attendant telling me to fasten my belt as we were going to touch down. I slept like a log and was now hungry like a dog…sorry bitch, the rhyme sounded better.

Now no more, I was in time for the meeting and nothing could go wrong now. I sat there looking at the plush office and the pretty paintings hanging all over. That’s a new investment trend! The plump receptionist looked at me and pointed towards the cabin. After the pleasantries the client said lets have the presentation. I braced myself and confidently picked up my strolley, I opened it to get my laptop out. My eyes popped out not to find anything in the bag. How could it be, I had packed it after reviewing the slides last night. My palms got sweaty, body went cold and I could see stars in front of my eyes. I should be given a premium membership and a platinum award at http://www.fmylife.com/. I looked at my client and I could see his face getting elongated and his voice distorted and distant. I came to reality when he shook me, ‘huh!’.  He placed his phone on the table and I looked at the Sri Ram wallpaper and just nodded in dejection. Just in time I remembered emailing him a copy last night. It saved my day!

 The next thing I remember was me in bed, just opened my eyes, staring at the ceiling wondering was it real or a surreal dream. Well who cares as I got up feeling fresh as a daisy; it was an important and big day!

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A Lost Pillar!

My apologies to all those people who reached out to me and asked me when the next blog is coming, I am sorry for being away for two months…there are two things that I have learnt from life till now. Circumstances and determination! I see them as sides of the same coin. Every time I determine to do or not to do something, such circumstance come up that I fail to keep the promises I have given myself. On the other side circumstances arise at such a short notice and in such a way that they break every bit of determination I have, I again gather myself and be more determined! And that’s the reason Shweta says Life’s like that! So now pick up your ioses and androids and enjoy the read J
‘Look at that, you have one more remark this week from your school and again for your handwriting! How am I supposed to deal with this, you know I hate to face your school teacher as I hardly understand her fluent English.’ Mom was really upset this time, I did tell myself that I will try to avoid remarks in my dairy and help mom avoid embarrassment L Tears rolled off my eyes as I stood at the corner of the sofa looking down on the floor fidgeting with my hands.
Grandpa got up from his chair, I looked at him if he would come and hold me, but he picked the paper that flew tucked it neatly on the board he was holding, went back to the chair and started writing his dairy. My Grandpa a tall frail man would always be seen in white shirt and pants, the shirt would always have ink stains, shiny grey self-cut hair (he never went to a barber in his life), green veins could be seen all over his hands as he would pick up his ink pen and write his dairy.

After crying quietly for 10 minutes, grandpa noticed me and came to me. I revealed every bit of what had happened. And he pampered my cheek and turned ‘everybody come to the living room.’ His authoritative tone echoed all over the house and all the 17 people of the family gathered. He looked at all of them ‘I’ll have an early breakfast; I will go to her school tomorrow.’
I was dressed in neatly ironed school dress and grandpa in his white shirt and pants, he held my hand and we reached school. My heart beat so fast that I was almost trembling. ‘Let’s go to principal’s office.’ He said as he pulled my hand. ‘No grandpa, I promise to improve myself, please avoid this.’
He knocked on the big wooden door of the school principal’s office. ‘Oh, Mr. Dave, please come in!’ exclaimed the principal, Ms Bharucha, a beautiful parsi lady in her early thirties. ‘How can I help you?’ she said as she pulled the chair for my grandpa to sit. ‘I thought it was long we had met and thought of paying a visit. How are you?’ ‘Fine, sir. How about you?’ ‘I am fine too, thank you. I’ll be to the point, what makes a man’s’ character?’ he asked curtly. ‘His conduct, principles and discipline.’ She replied. grandpa removed some pictures from his folder and put them in front of her. I couldn’t recognize most of them. ‘Do you think these men you see in the pictures are examples of good characters?’ He questioned. ‘Beethoven – the selfless musical genius, Albert Einstein, renowned scientist and a great genius ever to walk the earth and Bill Gates – Founder of Microsoft? Of course they are the zenith of geniuses born and exemplary characters.’ 

Now Ms Bharucha looked puzzled. ‘And just one last question, what did they have in common?’ asked grandpa again. ‘I am not getting your point, sir.’ ‘they all had bad handwriting! he exclaimed as he looked around and saw a picture of Mahatma Gandhi. He pulled a letter out of his folder and placed it in front of her. ‘This is a self-written letter of Gandhiji, look at his hand writing. Handwriting does not define a human’s character or destiny. My granddaughter may not write elegant but she will write beautiful. Today I see her skeptical picking up a pen being scared of her handwriting. I would not want that being developed in her. Handwriting cannot be considered as a bad remark! This is all I have to say.’ He rose from his chair, placed his hand on her head, held my hand and walked away.

On my way back, he told me something that I treasure my entire life, ‘be quick, be done and be gone.’ He said and smiled at me. This episode is very clear in my mind even today, I learnt a lot from his ways. He always prepared before making a point, he always talked positively and of course I will never forget be quick, be done and be gone! 
I was very close to him and I remember the smile he would give when I would see his dry feet and apply some moisturizer or he would say ‘I feel so light, will sleep every well tonight.’ When I would give him acupressure points on his back. He inculcated the habit of reading and writing in me. He encouraged me a lot in every step I took, he would see me work long hours and often say ‘you spend 10 hours of your day working and making money for a company that’s not yours. Start something on your own and spend the same time, I am sure it will be more satisfying and fruitful. These words will always remain with me and motivate me to be an entrepreneur one day.


I lost my grandpa a month back, he was 97. He passed away in his sleep. Even today when I close my eyes I see him sitting on his chair writing his dairy….. I feel him with me on every step of my life. I love and miss him a lot.

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Beetein Lamhe, Nostalgia!

The Window shut with a thud, Ananya seated on the arm chair opened her eyes startled by the noise. She realized she had fallen asleep with the book in her hand, Jagjit Singh’s ‘tere khushboo main base khat main jalata kaise’ still softly playing in the background. She got up to open the window when Rohan’s picture fell from the book. She picked it up, opened the window and got back to the chair. She adjusted the blue satin gown as she placed her feet on the table and drew the shawl closer around her. Rohan’s picture was the one he has sent before leaving for Iran on a business trip last year. She had a closer look at the picture and a smile broke on her face seeing his baby like eyes behind the glasses. He preferred to wear a white tee with checked shirt and denim. Smile was rare but with Ananya around it never receded. He dressed simple but classy; he was more European than Indian when it came to dressing. It was less than 24 hours before she could see her love face to face, Ananya cuddled in her chair went to sleep thinking of the moments spent together.

For Rohan being behind the wheel with Ananya by his side was no less than heaven. He couldn’t contain his happiness; he did not want to leave Ananya’s hand even while driving. He would softly hold her hand and place it on his thigh managing to drive with one hand. “Rohan please will you tell me where are we headed, you have just been smiling and hiding it from me and will you please leave my hand I got to show you all my lipstick shades” Ananya said in a chirpy tone. Rohan kissed her hand “Yes wifey as you please, we are today going to fulfill all the promises I made to you sweetie.” Adjectives for Rohan were rare but if he would be really happy he would address her with wifey, jaana, honey, sweetie…it was just endless. They talked all about Iran as Ananya tested her lip stick shades on Rohan’s hand and got a nod on each being good or bad. Rohan parked his car outside Delhi Haat. Ananya gave a puzzled look. Rohan then said that they were there to shop for all that he has promised her. Ananya remembered the conversation when Rohan had got his first salary and said ‘Ani, this I got to give to dad but I promise I will buy you each piece of Indian accessory you desire and winked and continued saying ‘the more you wear the more pleasurable it will be for me to get you off it.”
Ani’s demands were small but very close to her heart. She quickly hopped off the car and they entered the market hand in hand. He would wait outside the shop patiently looking at Ani choosing earrings, payal and bangles. She tried the green bangles and peeped outside the shop at Rohan who was smoking his cig, she held the bangles on her fingers and gestured if he liked them. He smiled and that said it all. She got all of it packed and removed Rohan’s wallet to pay, the shopkeeper gave it weird reaction looking at the gents’ wallet come out of Ani’s big hand bag. She gauged what was happening and in a manly tone asked how much…and then burst out laughing as she settled the bill. That day Rohan drove for 8 hours around Delhi to shop, he also took her to Palam Vihar to show the apartment he was looking forward to buy and promised Ani to get her out of the complexity she was in; the dreams in their eyes were larger than life and as some put it quite unrealistic.
A cold hand on Ananya’s forehead got her back to the real world; in the past three months since Rohan had stopped speaking Ananya’s life too had stopped.  Ananya’s mom had realized where her daughter’s happiness was but that wasn’t of much help. She approved of Rohan but the circumstances never allowed them to be together. She had done all to move on, counseling sessions and medication too had not helped. Ani’s mom sat next to her and kissed her forehead, ‘did you sleep well Ani…” the background nazm played, ‘dafn kar do ham eke saans mile, nabz kuch der se thami si hai…aaj phir aapki kami si hai.’
 
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Relationships and more……..

Revati tried hard to find the key hole but the number of drinks she had that evening were impairing her vision. After some struggle she managed to open the door of her 5000 sq. feet duplex apartment at Malabar hill. The motion sensors detected she was around and lights flashed as she looked around the lavish living room, all things in order and at the right place. The 16 seater pure leather imported sofa and the huge crystal chandelier were as lifeless as the Guido Daniele painting of the woman posed on a bench overlooking Slizza river in Italy. She flung her Louis Vuitton bag on the sofa and balanced her way leaving her stilettos on the way towards the bed room.
Revati was a socialite wife of Raghu, V. N. Raghupati CEO of Assureinvest a venture capitalist firm. A simple but sharp soul, Raghu was complete opposite of his spouse. Punctual and a man of few words he had strong family values. Their marriage happiness of 8 years was inversely proportional to Raghu’s bank balance. This was the very reason Raghu preferred to spend more time at work than return to an empty house.
Raghu at work was a no non-sense person and appreciated intelligence over hard work. His new hire Deepshikha was just the dependable resource Raghu was looking for. She had to be told little and she understood her work well. Assureinvest was Deepshi’s third job in a career of 6 years. She understood the pulse of the job market well and knew when to switch to get paid better. Her sole motive was a higher figure on the salary slip and with her diligence she knew how to get that. Deepshi and Gaurav met at business school and lost their hearts to each other. Gaurav loved Deepshi’s sharpness and Deepshi purely fell for Gaurav’s looks and his Salsa moves. Both tied the knot against parent’s wishes and moved to a 3 bedroom flat at Goregoan. An Emi of 70,000 and a car loan made Deepshi change her job often and Gaurav take up salsa classes after work. Gaurav’s clientele were crème de la crème of Mumbai most of them socialites including Revati. Gaurav and Deepshi’s 6 years of marriage became a transactional relationship of money transfers to bank accounts and sticky notes on the refrigerator the only way of communication between them.  Sometimes the messages were communicated by Seema their maid who kept a set of house key to complete the house hold chores without disturbing Gaurav who would return home past midnight.
Seema was with Deepshi since her marriage, she was trustworthy but in a painful relation with Govind. Govind was Seema’s husband’s friend and moved with her as a support after her husband died leaving two children behind. Govind turned alcoholic and would rob Seema of all the money she earned.  He had just landed an office boy’s job when Deepshi referred him to Raghu in order to reduce Seema burden.
It was the evening of 16th March 2012 when Deepshi was preparing for the quarterly audit with Govind moving busily out of Raghu’s cabin taking signatures on relevant papers. It was around mid-night when Deepshi entered Raghu’s cabin, he was sitting on the wide parapet of the office his back facing an open window, his legs rested on an Osim massager chair with a glass of Glenlivet in his hand. Deepshi reluctant turned to leave when Raghu asked her to sit. She noticed the generally dressed in a suit Raghu today in a shirt crumpled around the waist as if it was pulled hard. His eyes were red, this was the first time she noticed the handsome man that Raghu was. His ruffled hair, slight grey side locks, his strong arms showed under his sleeves rolled till the elbow. Feeling uncomfortable with the silence she rose once again to leave when the wheels of the chair which Raghu rested his feet on moved and he lost his balance. Deepshi ran towards him and pulled his hand to stop him from falling off the window. He fell on her triggering the dearth of physical touch he had faced in the past years. He hugged her tight; Deepshi did not resist and gave in to his dominance.
Seema rushed to the hospital as her son had fallen off stairs and needed to be admitted. Not knowing where to go she reached Deepshi’s apartment to ask for money. She opened the flat with the set of keys she had and rushed in. Her pace slowed as she saw the stilettoes lying on the floor, as she moved further she saw a Burberry evening gown flung on the ground, she understood that wasn’t Deepshi’s.  She could hear giggles and whispers from the bed room. Not knowing what to do, she decided to leave when she glanced on the open bag on the dinning. She could see a bundle of notes, she tip toed and grabbed the money and moved out to save her son.
Flash forward….October 2013, Deepshi changed the music to classical as Raghu started his Audi Q5. He grabbed Deepshi’s hand and kissed it before buckling his seat belt. They reached the apartment; she waited in the car as Raghu went to Revati’s 16th floor apartment to deliver the signed divorce papers. He was about to ring the bell when he heard Gaurav and Revati arguing over something. He chose to leave the papers at the door. On the way back they dropped in at Seema’s to deliver the Diwali bonus. Now the 5000 sq. feet house name plate reads Deepshi and Raghu’s. May be now it’s not just a house, its home!
Will leave you with one of my favorite songs…
रिश्ते तोह नहीं रिश्तों की पर्छैयाँ मिले 
यह कैसी भीड़ है बस यहाँ तन्हाईयाँ मिले।
इक छत के तले अजनबी हो जाते हैं रिश्ते 
बिस्तर पे चादरों से चुप हो जातें है रिश्ते।
ढूंढे से भी इनमें नहीं गर्मियाँ मिले।
यह कैसी भीड़ है बस यहाँ तन्हाईयाँ मिले।
जिसको भी देखिये वो अधूरासा है यहाँ 
जैसे कहीं हो और वो आधा रखा हुआ।
हो जब जहाँ जुड़े वही जुदाइयाँ मिले 
यह कैसी भीड़ है बस यहाँ तन्हाईयाँ मिले।