Where were you Ananya? – A fiction

the hug

Where were you Ananya?

She walked passed the corridor and placed her suitcase looking at the small temple where a diya lit like her unwavering faith. As she left the house keys on the key stand above the shoe rack he came out of the study his bluetooth on his ear.

“Where are you going?” he questioned with a gesture.

She turned to face the door.

“Ananya” he excused himself from the call. “Where were you?” he surprised himself with what he just asked.

Ananya turned to her love and with with a tight smile spoke

“I?”

She looked at him for a minute the longest in the last she remembered seeing him.

“I was here Rohan. Lying somewhere in your life.” She paused.

“I was right here stacked among host of messages on your Whatsapp. I also stood in between the tight deadlines over months. Didn’t you notice me in the several voicemails.” her eyes brimmed as she spoke slowly and softly.

“I was that fleeting thought that would have passed as you busily worked on your submission. Didn’t you see me Rohan? I was trying to share a smile when you commuted after work to go to an important dinner. I waived at you over an occupied Saturday movie and a Sunday photography session. I was that struggle that got tossed between work and hobby. Colleagues and friends. I was that time between a work week and a deserved unwind. I was right there just out of your sight.” she spoke without a tinge of sarcasm. 

“Oh is it?” her pain barely reached him, “So where was I Ananya?”

“You jaan?” Ananya swallowed a lump and spoke.

“You were the page I turned as I read a book. You were the blanket I cuddled on cold mornings alone in bed. You were the half filled tea cup I spoke to for hours sharing my petty gossips. You were the smile that faded when I heard our favourite song. You were the phone call that I never missed to make during lunch. You were there in my questions, in my feelings and in every emotion.”

The rage, the anger melted in seconds. That was Rohan’s heart. A silent tear rushed passed Rohan’s warm cheek as he took small steps towards his first love.

“Ani, I am sorry. Can we not work on this.” he gently held Ananya.

“Rohan.” she placed her palm on his rough beard. “We haven’t lost it all. I am still Ani for you.”

She could bear any storm but not a tear in his eyes. He embraced her in his arms as she rose to her toes giving it all once again. May be the times had changed but the solace the hug brought hadn’t. 

“Miss you Rohan” She hugged tighter digging her face in his chest.

Take Me Now! – Wild Seduction

couples-boudoir-photography

Rohan rang the doorbell twice with no answer. He stood there shifting his weight from one foot to another for five minutes thinking of the heated argument over a silly issue he had with Ananya in the morning. He placed his heavy laptop bag down and got the key to open the door.

The dark teak wood door opened in a lavish living room, a gush of cool but humid breeze brushed his face. The wind chime danced to the tune of the zephyr as it made its way through the full length sliding window. The room was dark, lights off and aromatic lavender candle burnt in a remote corner.

He walked to the window and stood there watching the dark clouds over distance sea from his 24th floor penthouse.  A light sound of an anklet tingling caught his attention to the single couch on another corner. He turned.

In the dim candle light her smooth skin radiated to the contrast of the black satin gown, the faint figure in the dwindling light appeared her to be sprawling seductively across the couch. His eyes moved from her inviting face to her voluptuous figure, the satin slip creasing exactly at the right curves. He moved forward with the sound of her anklets as she playfully moved her feet.

“What’s the plan?” he softly whispered lowering his face to hers.

“To apologize…to say sorry” smiling playfully she turned lying on her stomach.

Rohan dragged the pads of his fingers from the butt to the back of her thighs over to her calves and stopped the tingling of the anklets as he kissed her toes.

“Ah that tickles” she turns to sit facing him.

“So who’s saying sorry today?” he asks holding her close to his lips.

“You….” Ananya alluringly moves her tongue across his neck.

He unties her hair as she wraps the same scarf around his wrists. Rohan seems so beguiling his body warm and tasting sultry.

Holding his neck gently she climbs to sit across him and settles on his thighs. Passion unleashes when the lips greedily devour as Ananya starts to move. The craving deepens with Ananya’s every ride. Her palms settle on his masculine chest as she parts from his lips to move steadily to his broad shoulders.

Rohan unable to contain the temptation struggles to pull his hands off the scarf. In the next moment he embraces her encapsulating her under him to drop lightly on the floor his fingertips feeling her tattoo.

“Take me now!” she whispers biting his earlobe. The Victoria’s Secret thong with the satin slip are swung and thrown in a jiffy. Raw passion and endless love alternate as he fills her repeatedly with all the love he has. It lasts long before they consummate the light tiff with mutual affection as the drizzle from the falling rain lightly fall on them.

He seals the night with a gentle kiss repeating the question, “So, who’s saying sorry?”

“What sorry?” she sees him smile as the candle burns its end to the final flame.

My Quotes – 3 Day quote challenge – Day 1

I have been nominated by my blogger friend Dipanwita Chakraborty for a 3 day quote challenge. While I would have loved to share some beautiful quotes that have stayed with me which I read of other authors, I would like to share something from my upcoming novel, hope you like it 🙂

 

Quote

 

The rules are simple.

  1. Post a favorite quote of yours for 3 consecutive days,  obviously  a different quote each day from any book, any author of your choice. It could also be your own quote.
  2. Nominate 3 bloggers with each post to challenge them.
  3. Thank the person who nominated you.

My Nominations for day 1 are:

Purba Chakraborty 

Ravish Mani

Cifar Shayar

 

Moonstruck! First Valentine!

valentines-day-dinner

She stormed in through the door pushing the waiter aside walking straight at the end of the restaurant. The waiter turned and so did all the young couples seated to celebrate the occasion. The slow jazz in her head had been replaced with hard rock where the image she saw in a split second was playing like a leaf falling from a tree in slow motion again and again.

She dumped herself on the last large round corner table, which was beautifully laid with a white laced tablecloth, flowers neatly arranged, a red candle lit next to ‘reserved’ label placed. She was neither in a state nor mood to notice any detail around. Her head was on fire and her tears were play hide and seek of not embarrassing her in public.

“How could he?” she said to herself disconsolately.

“Who?” a voice fell on her ears like the cold breeze that comes through when you open the window to a heated room.

She tried to look at the frame on the other side of the candle; the candle light was not enough to get a glimpse more than a white shirt, a side of a neck and his lips.

She was shaken from her thoughts, “I am sorry, this is reserved.” She said trying to get up noticing the label placed on the table.

“No, it’s not reserved, it’s complicated, you can sit here!” he said on a lighter note. As she stood he noticed her over the candle light in a beautiful white dress, long earrings that dangled and playfully touching her shoulders, her delicate hands holding yellow lilies making a perfect combination against her white background. She kept moving her bracelet against her wrist with one hand making a public display of her mental state. She was in six inch stilettos, moving her weight from one foot to another making it obvious she wasn’t used to them.

“You may sit, till you gather yourself.” He gestured with his hand. She noticed his hand, sleeves rolled up, strong hands, long fingers.

She sat dropping the flowers next to the gift, “I don’t need to gather myself, I did all I could.”

“Am sure you did, I mean flowers, gift and…what more could you do.” His voice had a charm and she could feel the chuckle.

“and…”

“I mean and you, perfect for the occasion, isn’t it, so I truly agree how could he?” now she could see his smile too.

“I never thought it would be her, I saw them today, hand in hand, kissing zealously.”

“oh so that the problem, he kissed her. Anyway, I am Rohan. He said moving his hand towards her.

“Hi, I am Ananya, she shook his hand hesitantly and immediately took it back.” She hadn’t felt rougher hands than those. “and that’s not the problem….I mean the kissing bit.”

“Then…the hand in hand bit…by the way nice to meet you Ananya.” He chortled again.

“No, it’s my 25th birthday today.”

“Ah, that’s the problem Ananya, It shouldn’t be women get better with age.”

“Ahhh, no, it is him with her, that’s the problem.” She at last blurted out.

The waiter stood there like the hour hand of the clock looking at the minute and the second’s hand.

“Now what?” she looked arrow straight at him.

“Can you please get us two white wines and something to eat please?” Rohan directed the hour hand to move.

“Vegetarian” the seconds hand announced.

“So he with her, how long?” Rohan tried getting analytic.

“I don’t know, I don’t want to know, she didn’t look great, I thought my birthday would be a big thing for him, at least that’s what he said a few days back. And this was my first formal Valentine.”

“Formal?”

“Yes for the rest, I just told my friends I had one, but actually sat back home watching movies and munching popcorn. Are you writing something?”

“ahhh get that, so formal Valentine.” He paused, “Writing, no, nothing.”

The wine arrived and so did the VEG starters. Rohan raised the glass and looked at her; she had plunged into the eateries.”

He raised his glass, “Happy Birthday Ananya”…Ananya gave a puzzled look with her mouth stuffed.

“You know I have been starving since last 2 months, to look the best this day…and he just didn’t care…now I realize, I am so hungry.”

“Mission accomplished, eat to your hearts content.”

She spoke of her quirks and he heard it with delight giving her a new perspective to look at things. A long dinner went on for 2 hours exchanging details about her.

“And that’s how I fell for him; I was so looking forward to have him as my valentine and to exchange gifts, but the sight I saw. I would never speak to him ever.”

“Ananya!” Rohan stopped her from whining further and came a little close to her and sat next to her.

She saw him, “Ruffled hair, sharp eyes and nose, thin lips, light stubble and his strong arms made him look very handsome.

“Ananya” he shook her from her reverie. There is nothing that ever is bad, everything happens for a reason and happens for good, okay!

For Ananya, she has fallen in love at first sight…”yes” she murmured hiding her admiration being exposed.

“Do you love or miss him?”

“No, I realize I don’t but it was my first valentine, I had thought of a lovely dinner, flowers, exchange of gifts….”

“Did you have one already?” he smiled.

She noticed the candle light, the beautiful ambiance, then flowers…it was all there.

He picked up a flower from the vase, “Will you be my Valentine?”

“Yes, I will…” she was happiness personified. “But my gift?” added gleefully.

“Oh..” he made a gloomy face and handed over a piece of paper to her, “will this do?”

She was mesmerized at what she saw, a beautiful portrait of hers. “It looks so live, thank you…I …I don’t believe you drew me so well. Thank you…I mean…”

“Shhhh…so now you have a gift too.” I am an artist, had come to capture some valentine moments for my story…with no idea I would meet my Valentine here.

“Can I drop you home?” Ananya offered, “I promise I wouldn’t whine now.”

“Okay, let’s go, I wouldn’t let you whine ever.”

An unusual love letter

unusual love letter hn1

 

letter en

My post is a hope and motivation filled dedication to all Paraplegia patients in the world. Paraplegia is a spinal cord injury that results in an impairment in motor or sensory function of the lower half of a person’s body. In India there are around 10,000 new cases out of which 82% are men in the age group of 18-30 years. You can read more here

Sources: Content and Image – Shweta Dave

 

 

Bang Bang – That Awful Sound!

Ananya clad in a burka just to avoid acquaintances, turned right onto the narrow Barauni lane, she read the piece of paper from under her veil, Room no 113, Kisbar makaan, Barauni road, Bihar 851116 it read. She was in the right lane as she paced to find the said building.

“Bhaijaan….Bhaijaan” she hushed knocking the door.

“ji, aayiye.” Abdul said opening the door.

“Is it ready?” enquired Ananya.

“How many?” questioned Abdul.

“Two.” confirmed Ananya.

“Ok.” Abdul walked to the other room where the karigars (workers) were seated engrossed working. Ananya sat on a rolled cotton mattresses looking nervously around the dusty dingy room. She kept shaking her legs making her restlessness evident. Abdul returned in 5 minutes. She got up but again sat down after Abdul gestured her to do so.

“These are the best handmade pistols in India. Munger made pistol come with a guarantee of never giving up on the owner. “ he said with utmost pride assembling the pistols.

“One magazine is free with each piece. Hope you know how to operate it? Do you want it for yourself? Why two?” He looked at her handing one of them on her hand.

“No…no I don’t.” As Ananya held it with trembling hands.

Adbul demoed it to her without firing a shot. Ananya tried it on another the same way. He wrapped both in a piece of cloth and gave it to her.”

“I am giving this to you as you are Nisreen’s friend. Handle with care, it’s no joke.” He warned her.

Ananya kept the wrapped pieces in her bag that hung from her shoulder. “ji bhaijaan.” She responded handing over the bundle of notes to Abdul. “It’s as agreed 30 for 2.”

“Where did you arrange this Ananya?” he questioned again.

Ananya just turned and walked silently, she would never tell anyone that she robbed her own house of the money kept for her marriage.

*********************************************************************************

“True lovers we are.” Anupam said in a confident tone kissing Ananya’s forehead. He scanned the surroundings swiftly not a soul except for the maize crop that swayed with the wind.

“My parents will never agree or understand our true love. They have never understood me in the past 16 years.” Ananya said handing over the cloth wrapped pistol.

“I know, I know. My family is my father and where has he understood me in past 23 years, I never tried convincing him for any girl I had an affair with earlier, I love you truly and tried telling him and what did I get a slap in return. No one can understand us Ananya, no one. Have you not heard of all the true love stories, the give up on their lives for oneness.” Spoke Anupam boastfully.

“My ma loves me a lot; I don’t know what will happen of her. My father, I am the only child. I am scared Anupam, are we doing right?” Ananya was scared and sceptical.

“I always knew your love was not true. True lovers never question, they just sacrifice. They don’t chicken out like you. What will you love when you can’t do this much. You are ordinary just like others. ” Exclaimed Anupam angrily.

“No, please don’t be upset. I know this is the only way to be together. I have faith. I will do anything for our union, our oneness.” She said picking up the pistol.

“Okay.” Anupam picked the pistol too.

“Now listen to me carefully. I will count 3….2….and at the count of 1, we both say I love you and shoot. Here…” he said pointing at his heart. They both stood up, he smooched her deep before pushing her a foot apart pointing the pistol at her. Ananya tried to hold the pistol straight with unsteady hands.

“3….” Anupam said aloud.

“2….” He continued.

“1…..”

“I love….” Ananya whispered with a choked voice tears rolling down her face.

A gun shot disturbed all the birds as they scattered in the evening sky chirping loud. One body fell on the ground with a bullet hit in the head. Anupam walked towards her, shook the body with his foot. He pulled her dupatta and placed it on her head. He walked away smiling without remorse screaming “I love you Ananya, I love you…..Love…hahah…my foot.”  His phone rang, the name flashed Nisreen.

This post is my written variation to the song I am addicted to these days. Watch it and join the addiction, do not miss the video.

Featured image source: Bang bang

Never ending wait

„Are you upset at me, again? “ Ananya asked lovingly.
“Look, Rohan, I don’t like to be late on purpose you know that. Now stop looking at me like that with a sullen face please.” She said pushing the bunch of yellow lilies towards him.
One of the lilies moved with the breeze and touched his face. She picked it, kissed it and kept it back again.
He always called her in this garden when the world would want to meet for movies, coffee or restaurants. She felt it was their time together where she could always talk at length, free without being nudged by anyone.  
“Did I tell you about my dream…of course it was our dream?” He remained silent looking at her radiant face and a strand of hair constantly flowing from her cheek and getting stuck to her lips as she spoke. As the zephyr played with her hair, she pulled the strand and neatly tucked it behind her ear and it playfully flew on her cheek again. She let it be.
Rohan looked affectionately, this dream came in as a harbingerof the same story she repeated every time they met.
She started,” We were sitting in this same park, talking sweet nothings to each other. Planning the way we would want our parents to know about us. You did suggest you being the only child of your parents; they should come and talk to mine.”
A ball came and hit Rohan’s leg. Ananya playfully picked it up and threw it towards the child and continued. “My brother came and asked me to reach home urgently as Ma had fallen off the stairs. You immediately asked me to rush and promised me to come back and meet you in this park.”
“Rohan, since that day I have been coming here to meet you and ask you what happened and you have just chosen to not respond.”
He said nothing and sat in deadening stillness.
She too sat there in silence, whining and coaxing to get an answer but in vain. The ingénue Ananya as always picked up the flowers left it near him and left with a promise to meet the next day.
मज़ार  -ए -कैस पर जब रूहे लैला इक दिन आयी 
तोह अरमानों के मुरझाए कुछ फूल भी लायी 
लगी जब फूल वह रखने तोह कब्र से आवाज़ आयी 
चढ़ाना फूल जानेमन मगर आहिस्ता आहिस्ता। 

It takes two to Tango!

“The tea is on the table. “ She said in a disconcerting tone as she sat on the adjacent chair of the round dining table with 4 chairs.
“You know I have never had tea without you, Ananya.” He replied in a consoling tone.

“So?” She exclaimed.

“Why do you always think I am at fault? Is asking for your time and hearing you are busy my lookout? You should have never got married if you didn’t have time for me.” She grabbed her breath by the time the last words came out of her mouth.

“I promise I will take care, Ananya. I will try really hard to live up to your expectations.” He lovingly said picking up the yellow lilies and presenting it to her. “I love you, now hug me.” He demanded.

“No, you hug me.” She hushed, looking at the flowers and smelling them.

He got up and embraced her tight.

******************************************************************************

Ananya sat at the table looking at the phone; she picked it up the 17th time to check for messages. All she saw was he last sent, “You never have time for me, all I hear is I am busy.”

She put the phone down again, wishing there were an alarm that warned, “You are seeing your phone too much!”

Restless and anxious she walked up and down the living room, glancing at the tea cup, phone, chair and door…as she paced up through the room….tea cup, phone, chair, door…tea cup, phone, chair and door..tea cup, phone, chair and door!
She played the scene again and again in her mind to the extent that she edited it and was ready for a hug the minute the doorbell would ring.

The doorbell rang; she rushed to open it…

Door open!

Arms almost ready!

“Madam, bag, sahib aayenge abhi!” I just missed a faux pas, she thought to herself.

She dejectedly tuned to walk back, tea cup, phone, chair…

Footsteps…

She turned!

“Sharma, I don’t know anything, you got to make the payment available. I am answerable to my senior.” He rushed in talking to someone, straight to his bed room!

Ananya sat at the chair and sipped the tea, scrolling through the WhatsApp forwards on her phone!

The Last Conversation!

Friends, I have tried to bring Ananya to you in more ways than one in my posts. Ananya for me is a simple girl who desired for basic things in life, but the relations led to experiences as she grew from a girl to a woman. The present post is a continuation and final part, you can read part 1 Broken Shadows!

Hope you like the conclusive part as the first!

The train started taking with it the heaviness of emotions that choked both Ananya and Rohan. The mountains created by frozen tears had melted and all the sensations came back rushing to their paralysed heart.

She looked at him blank and he looked at her with a number of questions. Ananya somewhere knew that the questions were waiting for a cue of initiation but she wanted nothing, she had come to terms with not only the years that had passed but also the void it had created. Sometimes the change in oneself is socially worst for the world but best for self, that’s the change she had succumbed to.

Suddenly her dry throat paused the chain of thoughts, she looked at the bottle on the other side where Rohan sat, and it rolled as the train caught momentum. She rose to claim it but Rohan held it and handed it to Ananya.

“Ananya, you have been so quiet, you still have not been able to move on, have you?”

“Rohan, I never believed in words such as moving on, I never was one of those to think its just one life or life is too short, move one, and turn the page. I gave all I had to the relation and your going away froze some emotions in me. Now they come but only for those who value them and stand by me through sun and shade. And you know if I count those they would barely fill the fingers of my right hand.” Ananya tried to smile.

“But you stopped living?” Rohan’s questions had started.

“Don’t give yourself so much importance Rohan, nothing stops, it just changes the person we once were, the wisdom you gain out of a breakup replaces the innocence you once had. It just a transition and the transition is for good. It makes you wiser.” Ananya said with a straight face.

It truly feels good that a woman is till stuck to you even after its over, makes the man feel worthy and vice versa. But its just like fooling once self when the parachute fails to open in a sky dive and one thinks its just land we will fall on.

“And you know Rohan, now our lives are not ours, there are people involved who depend on every right or wrong we do. We had something years back but now is entomb, what is left is just a small flame and that will never be put off.” Ananya had sensed what was coming her way.

“I could never get over you Ananya, I had you but couldn’t get you and kept running, I haven’t stopped running even now.”

“Don’t Rohan, life is to live not run behind. You will run and realise one day that all you have in your hands is just handful of memories.”

“I so wish if this rain of sadness could erase the memories of my head.” He sighed.

“I understand.” Ananya came close and held his restless hand. “All memories come rushing to our mind and it becomes difficult to control the heart. But what can be done, our heart is like a lost horse who without any direction or any goal just keeps running. But life has its own principles, its rules and it keeps some challenges for us which we have to agree to without challenging it” She looked deep into Rohan’s eyes.

She left his hand and slouched back and sighed, “I now have no complaints with anyone.”

“With no one Ananya? I can’t believe that. There is no one in this world who does not have a grievance with anyone.”

“Who knows it better than you Rohan, you know when in life and with whom I had grievances.”

“I know Ananya, but sometimes we have to do it, whether we like it or not.”

“Yeah, I have learnt it. We are not as important as the lives that are dependent on us. We do it all for them. All the time we just feel that we are living our life, our desires, on our terms, but after walking a long way in life we realise we just did what others liked, we are too scared to lose them and so succumb to every wish and desire of theirs, in the transition we leave our desires and our flight much behind. All left with us are two words, That’s Life!” Ananya closed her eyes in deep thought.

“Then what should be done Ananya, what if we start living our life like the way we want?”

“Nothing Rohan, we will have to pay a huge price and even after that we may not get what we ever desired.”

“Ananya, have you achieved all that you desired?” Rohan asked in all genuiness.

“No, Rohan.”

“Then….”

“Then what Rohan, I am living in the jungle made by this society living other people’s lives. In my weakness I have lost the most valuable parts of my life.”

“Would you like to have those parts back and live them?” Rohan waited in anticipation.

Ananya looked at him in silence.

“Don’t answer Ananya as the hurt I gave you will never overcome anything. I remember your silence as I spoke the last words when we parted. Why didn’t you marry, you were lonely then.”

After a long pause Ananya wiping the brimming tear in the corner of her eye spoke, “Marriage is not an answer to loneliness Rohan. One should marry when there is a desire of being with the other for the entire life. But this is not real. In real we marry thinking being under one roof we will fall in love, but even that does not happen. But where we find love, we just find it, why it happened, we don’t know. If we can’t fall for someone, we just can’t, why we don’t love them even that is unknown. Then this love hits the tangles of society, breaks the chains of all rituals, all other relations are not heeded then…its love…pure and unconditional.

“I miss you Ananya in my life.”

“I already have you Rohan since the time I loved you, to make you mine was never my desire. But these handful of memories are good to carry me through life.”

She opened the window, bright sunshine filled the compartment. “I think the storm has passed.” Ananya could see her mother waiting for her waiving as the train slowed down.

Beyond Mortal!

 



 
 
 
 
He asked her “Ananya, What are we?”

You are the Sun and I the Earth moving around you.
Your rage burns me but without you nothing blooms on me too.

He asked her “Where do we belong?”

We belong beyond time and this world,
When lovers like us are born, they cannot belong anywhere but to each other!

 
What is our path?
There is no path, no destiny, no end, and no start. It’s just a journey of two inseparable souls.
 
Where do we unite?
Unison in this world is temporary, we unite when I look at you, we unite when you touch me, and in all gestures of love we unite beyond mortals.
 
Would we stay?
She smiled, teary eyed, can the wave stop coming back to the shore?
Every time I search you, look for you and call you and every time you say, when did I ever go, my hand is still in yours Ananya…we stay!