I am unforgiving

forgiveYou see me writing poems, creating fiction or sharing travel stories. But I came across Nitin’s post and something churned in me to write. Its seldom when I invite my readers to my views, not that I am always sitting on fence playing safe but I am that breed that speaks directly from the heart and in this time and age….thats rare…speaking sans diplomacy.

Nitin in his post Is Forgiveness so Difficult?, speaks how forgiveness is a difficult thing to do and how the soul is much lighter when it truly forgives.

In my very long life of experiences I have seen much to really talk of forgiveness. I have seen people turn their backs on me when I needed them the most. I have also seen people dupe me to believe something which on the face of it was untrue. I have had my heart broken over deceit. I have lost loved ones over failed and chicanery relations.

Yes we all know scars remain and time heals everything, I wouldn’t waste a second over something that redundant. I am a believer in Karma and every time I faced something like that I let go thinking one day I will face God and ask him why? I am also a believer of having to pay it here before we leave this world and thus I in my timidity never took things in my hand.

But did that mean I forgave them? Would not forgiving be called selfish? And was that easy? Was I seeking revenge?

I can’t Forgive: Thats where I differed with Nitin’s view, I can’t forgive any wrong done to me. By that it isn’t not returning the INR 20 someone borrowed. It means something that affects my life and turns it into a brouhaha. Why would I forgive…was the act not done in senses? what right did anyone have to cause such pain and harm?

It isn’t Easy: Forgiving is easy, I have never been a person who believed in the word MOVE ON. No I don’t mean that we live in the past and hang on to pain and stop living but if we get into the act of forgiving are we not just taking ourselves so much for granted for anyone to walk over our feelings and cause hurt?

Does anyone really forgive? The answer for me is no. In today’s times. People find several other ways to occupy themselves that just fills the vacuum to call it I FORGAVE. The bricks are welcome but the truth remains. Most of us just fill the gaps left to make ourselves too busy to notice the hurt or wait for time to handle it living it like a slow poison day after day till we get so used to pain that we stop feeling it one day and we call it forgiving.

So how do I survive? Over the years I have mastered the act of talking myself out of such hurt. The idea is not to forgive and I can never forget (I wouldn’t want to forget). I make peace with myself and I have faith, a very strong faith into something beyond God who takes care of things in its own manner. I let it pass, day after day, living the hurt till it leaves a scar but call me small or flawed, I can’t forgive a hurt that destroyed. My heart and mind meet at a common crossroad, a consensus and that gives immense peace. I feel the same as what forgiveness would make me feel. Released of thoughts, no void, no emotion or attachment, no bad tastes, lighter. Yes they have said their sorries and felt it too, accepted but trust totally denied.

Revenge? No. definitely not, I believe we all carry a balance sheet and acts of revenge would just mean adding negatives to it. It would cut short our chance of going up to the entity and asking the WHY question. Revenge is never an answer to things.

Note: It is a very opinionated post, dogmatic you can say. But it does take courage to stand and accept who you are. Also it also depends on each’s experiences in life. We all have seen the acts of Karma and I very recently came across someone who hurt me,  that made me believe what goes around comes around very strong, while I prayed for his life to be full of happiness, somewhere it reinstated the fact that entity balances our deeds and we need to take care of what we do in life to ourselves and others.

Disgust – 55 word fiction

Disgust

He stood unashamed holding her hand, a man Ananya most loved and a woman she trusted.

Her past 10 years came crumbling down as he just pulled a card from her house of cards.

Heart filled with distrust, deceit and disgust gave her the strength to pick the pen and sign her way to freedom.

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Bībhatsam (बीभत्सं) Disgust, Aversion is a very strong emotion. It takes something huge for an individual to be pushed to a point of disgust.

Shashank wrote a very heart melting take on Kaarunya. As I always say he is one of the few fictional writers who can evoke a treasure of emotions with his pen (hope you make up for this one j). I have high hopes on Bibhastam as well.

Image Source: here 

Just a little more….Life!

near-death-experienceShe found herself running endlessly towards the light at the end of the tunnel. It was as if she would breathe only if she reached that light. She looked around just to find pitch darkness; she felt tired at times but could not stop and kept running. She would look around again and again but it was too dark to see anything. She did not understand what made her run; she did not once look behind. The road looked endless, one look at her made her feel she was feather light. She wore a white satin gown, free flowing, weightless.  She looked around again and could see her face on the wall of the tunnel, her face looked radiant, it had the glow she had never seen and she felt happy like never before and beautiful than ever. Where the light wrinkles she had seen a couple of days are gone? She thought to herself as she kept running. She turned her face to the other side of the tunnel and could see a girl in a mother’s arms; the mother delighted looking at the bundle of joy.

There were people whom she recognised and some she didn’t. She placed her fingers on her brow and tried to recollect a man standing next to the mother but just couldn’t. She looked again and saw a young girl in school listening attentively to her teacher; the image vanished in a jiffy. She could then see her young self with her best friend laughing and enjoying. When was the last time she laughed that loud, she wondered? By now the images on the walls of the tunnel had completely captivated her and she had forgotten of the tunnel, the run and the distance. She could see her beloved on his knees holding a ring proposing her, she hadn’t been so happy ever. These flashes would appear and disappear rapidly and being replaced by the next one. She wanted to think or say something but was not able to. She saw her husband and daughter sitting on a dining table praying. She wanted to run towards her daughter but couldn’t change course of her path.

She closed her eyes but could see the images, the ones she saw on the wall. Everything was clear when she heard shouts and opened her eyes startled. She was confounded and looked down; she saw her feet were above the ground as she ran towards the light. Completely mystified she tried to stop running but couldn’t stop her feet. She heard shouts again and a big thump on her chest as if a train in full velocity had hit her chest, she ran faster towards the light and another big jolt! She couldn’t contain it in herself any further. She was perplexed at the thought of her running without her feet on the ground, the light at the end of the tunnel seemed very far now.

The last one came as a thunderbolt pushing her on her chest so hard that she fell backwards as if being sucked by the vacuum towards the other side of the light. She could see being pulled and the light at the end of the tunnel vanishing in a distance. It was so quick she had no time to react. The ‘pulse is back, doctor! She is back!’ ….the words sounded like a distant echo….’it’s a miracle, doctor, the defibrillator worked!’ She opened her eyes at a hazy frame of a man in a white coat and a young woman standing next to him. She could vaguely hear a familiar voice chanting the Mahamrutyunjay Shloka….

त्र्यम्बकं यजामहे
सुगन्धिं पुष्टिवर्धनम्
उर्वारुकमिव बन्धनान्
मृत्योर्मुक्षीय मामृतात्
Om Triyambakam Yajaamahe
Sugandhim Pushtti-Vardhanam
Urvaarukamiva Bandhanaan
Mrtyormuksshiya Maaamrtaat ||

Meaning:
1: Om, We Worship the Three-Eyed One (Lord Shiva),
2: Who is Fragrant (Spiritual Essence) and Who Nourishes all beings.
3: May He severe our Bondage of Samsara (Worldly Life), like a Cucumber (severed from the bondage of its Creeper),
4: … and thus Liberate us from the Fear of Death, by making us realize that we are never separated from our Immortal Nature.

This post is a submission to the IndiSpire topic #DeathisBeginning

Unstoppable force meets an immovable object

Interstellar

 

This post is not a movie review nor is this a kind of post you generally see on my site. But it was important for me may be a must write for me as It’s a dedication. It’s a dedication to you – to all Christopher Nolan fans. There are times when we eagerly await a movie with plans that we would watch it first day first show, with friends or family – together and then as planned the movie justifies the wait. So is the case of Interstellar.

For me the unison of Christopher Nolan and Matthew McConaughey in Interstellar personifies the famous quote by Joker from The Dark Knight, ‘You just couldn’t let me go, could you? This is what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object. You truly are incorruptible, aren’t you, huh? You won’t kill me out of some misplaced sense of self-righteousness, and I won’t kill you because you’re just too much fun. I think you and I are destined to do this forever.’

At 44, Nolan has achieved what other directors dream after a mature career, well nothing comes easy certainly not success. Nolan’s brilliance has been proven with marvelous script writing and direction in wonder gems such as Memento, Insomnia, Inception, the Dark Knight trilogy and he has struck gold with Interstellar.

Just a year older to Nolan, McConaughey too an actor par excellence has had a career actors can’t achieve in their life time. The smart move of getting away from romcoms introduced a new him to the audience. He proved himself time and again be it Lincoln Lawyer, Killer Joe, The paperboy and was at his best in the cameo for The Wolf of the Wall Street and the Oscar winning The Dallas Buyers Club.

I was delighted when someone important in my life shared McConaughey’s inspiration speech after receiving the Oscar, “There are a few things, about three things to my count, that I need each day. One of them is something to look up to, another is something to look forward to, and another is someone to chase. And to my hero, that’s who I chase. Now, when I was 15 years old, I had a very important person in my life come to me and say, “Who’s your hero?” And I said, “I don’t know, I’ve got to think about that. Give me a couple of weeks.” I come back two weeks later; this person comes up and says, “Who’s your hero?” I said, “I thought about it. It’s me in 10 years.” So I turned 25. Ten years later, that same person comes to me and says, “So, are you a hero?” And I was like, “Not even close! No, no no!” She said, “Why?” I said, “Because my hero’s me at 35.”

So you see every day, every week, every month, and every year of my life, my hero’s always ten years away. I’m never going to be my hero. I’m not going to attain that. I know I’m not. And that’s just fine with me, because that keeps me with somebody to keep on chasing. So, to any of us, whatever those things are, whatever it is we look up to, whatever it is we look forward to, and whoever it is we’re chasing. To that I say: Amen.”

I leave you with the best Christopher Nolan’s movie quotes and the trailer for yes – Interstellar.

Memento “I have to believe in a world outside my own mind. I have to believe that my actions still have meaning, even if I can’t remember them. I have to believe that when my eyes are closed, the world’s still there. Do I believe the world’s still there? Is it still out there? Yeah. We all need mirrors to remind ourselves who we are. I’m no different.”

Batman Begins “People need dramatic examples to shake them out of apathy, and I can’t do that as Bruce Wayne. As a man, I’m flesh and blood. I can be ignored. I can be destroyed. But as a symbol, as a symbol I can be incorruptible, I can be everlasting.”

The Prestige “Every magic trick consists of three parts, or acts. The first part is called the pledge. The magician shows you something ordinary. The second act is called the turn. The magician takes the ordinary something and makes it into something extraordinary. But you wouldn’t clap yet, because making something disappear isn’t enough. You have to bring it back. Now you’re looking for the secret. But you won’t find it because of course, you’re not really looking. You don’t really want to work it out. You want to be fooled.

The Dark Knight “You crossed the line first, sir. You hammered them and in their desperation they turned to a man they didn’t fully understand. Some men aren’t looking for anything logical. They can’t be bought, bullied, reasoned or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn.”

“Don’t talk like one of them, you’re not! Even if you’d like to be. To them, you’re just a freak, like me. They need you right now. But when they don’t, they’ll cast you out, like a leper.”

Inception “What is the most resilient parasite? Bacteria? A virus? An intestinal worm? An idea. Resilient. Highly contagious. Once an idea has taken hold of the brain it’s almost impossible to eradicate. An idea that is fully formed — fully understood —that sticks.”

The Dark Knight Rises “You think darkness is your ally. But you merely adopted the dark. I was born in it, moulded by it. I didn’t see the light until I was already a man, by then it was nothing to me but blinding!”

“A hero can be anyone. Even a man doing something as simple and reassuring as putting a coat around a little boy’s shoulder to let him know that the world hadn’t ended.”

And the final one from Interstellar – “We’ve always defined ourselves by the ability to overcome the impossible. And we count these moments. These moments when we dare to aim higher, to break barriers, to reach for the stars, to make the unknown known.”

Hope my humble try would at least bring a smile if not do justice to the fans of this duo.

Watch the trailer here:

Ganesh versus the Third Reich (Nazis)

b2b_gvtr01eif2014Adolf Hitler, Lord Ganesh and a cast of intellectually challenged people trying to put together a play is the plot of the play.

Ganesh versus the Third Reich was the first play I went last week to see at the Basel theatre. Firstly it was surprising they were playing an English play in Basel. But I am a fan of theatre artists and thus had to go and watch. This isn‘t a review as I am not good at it and thus never tried, what I will try to do is narrate my experience.

There were two main factors why I was interested to go and watch the play. Ganesh versus the Third Reich is a 100 minute skit by a learning-disabled ensemble produced by Back to Back theatre group.

The play revolves around two narratives to address a major question who has the right to tell a story and who has the right to be heard.”

The first narrative is that of a director who wants to direct a play on Lord Ganesh with a cast of disabled actors. The stage opens with bare minimum props and a group of actors who are trying to enact a story.

Source: Google images

The second narrative is interwoven with first and an interesting shot in 1943 when Adolf Hitler has stolen the Swastika a symbol of wellbeing and balance. Lord Shiva is enraged and vows to end the universe, that is when goddess Parvati (wife of Lord Shiva) and mother of Lord Ganesh demands her son Ganesh to go to Germany and reclaim the Swastika to calm Lord Shiva.

While this narrative of Lord Ganesh’s resolve to get the swastika back is enacted, the cast keeps interrupting the play and and switching to first narrative of improvising the backstage rehearsals.

Ganesh versus the third reichCertain scenes from narrative one are uncomfortable and pose serious questions be it when a bolshie actor called Scott Price is questioning his co-star’s Mark’s mental capacity. “You’ve got the mind of a goldfish,” Scott challenges Mark Deans, the non-communicative character in the cast. “Do you?” the David Woods (the only abled cast member), the director joins in. “Do you have the mind of a goldfish?” Mark silences for long thinking for an answer.

This scene tries to point to the Nazi’s mass extermination programme T4 for disabled people where they killed people with deformity. The director David Woods (narrative one) also plays Dr. Josef Mengele in narrative two who was a known Doctor in the Nazi regime and is seen walking on the stage an SS uniform, shouting about his passion for “the abnormal be it  birth defects, dwarfs, mongoloids or some degenerative conditions”.

The constantly drop out of character to question their right of telling the story specially when none of them are Hindu or Jewish.

GANESH VS THE THIRD REICH photo BUSBY_262The play is intelligently crafted trying to bring up subtle questions aloud. These scenes are kept simple but beautifully designed – they used shadow-play-style backdrops are used and  pulled on and off transparent curtains; to show Swiss alps moving past the train, and the moonless night sky of Berlin.

Startling images … Brian Tilley and Simon Laherty in Ganesh Versus the Third Reich at the EdinburghOn the way Lord Ganesh meets a feeble man from a concentration camp who narrates his story of how Hitler killed his family the sisters because they were too young and the others who were too old.

I found the climax point of the play when the director shocks into a direct address to the audience, challenging various levels of involvement, whether sympathetic, ashamed, demeaning – or simply accepting, finally  identifying the audience as the potential enemy.

Lord Ganesh reclaims the Swastika in narrative two and Hitler is seen walking away and the director coming forth, trying to convey the evil does not end.

All in all a brilliant play as i feel that every individual will have his own perspective and take on the questions posed be it right to perform or the abled and strong always oppress others. It is poignant, thought provoking and has a lasting impact on the audience.

Image Source: Google Images

Soulmate – the weaker link!

 
India is a land of emotions, a land of love and hearts. So Indians have two hearts is it? Think about it…I can ask again…Indians have two hearts is it?

Well most of us do! The one heart that belongs to our parents, let’s call it PHeart (Parentsheart) and our society at large and second let’s call it MHeart (myheart) which is quiet dormant early stages of our life awakens much later or sometimes we put that to sleep forever.

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Abhimanyu gets married to Sushila because his heart says so! Which heart? PHeart. The marriage gets consummated and in a year the PHeart is pressurized to complete the family with a child! So bingo another 9 months and baby arrives! The drudgeries of a daily survival start and life goes on!

In another world successful writer Ananya succumbs to PHeart and marries Dr. Krishna at a tender age, who Ananya ofcourse! The marriage tries to consummate but in vain. Busy worlds, busy people…STRESS….life continues!

All is well till Abhimanyu’s stars collide Ananya’s path. They meet fall for each other head over heels. Realising they are made for each other. The passion reaches its zenith where living without each other for a day becomes impossible. The Mheart awakens for both of them but it’s too late. Restlessness continues and starts affecting lives!  Can they live together? Will they have to give up on each other? Both realise they are not in love with their legal life partners…

Ananya and Abhimanyu are soulmates do they not have a right to be together?

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Definition of soulmate: a person ideally suited to another as a close friend or romantic partner.”

 

Writer Richard Bach defines soulmate as “A soulmate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are.”

A soulmate for me is the person who heals you, fulfills you like no other can and is the piece of that jigsaw that completes you to be whole.

Where does this anyway say that they could be or should be together?

A legal life partner may be a supporter but no matter what they try or do they would still lack the ability to lift you like your soulmate would.

What did Abhimanyu choose to do, the social ecosystem in India puts so much pressure on Mheart that they would prefer to let go then hold and fight the world. Who wants to disturb the settled status, perhaps isn’t divorce a taboo?

Since the relationship with a soulmate is a weaker link, I say a weaker link as it does not have a legal binding, a social recognition or any status that makes it more genuine, it’s easier to break the weaker link.

Who is at a loss?

Mheart: Please hear me, get me out of here, I want to breathe!

The walls are too thick and high for any voice to be heard outside, till it suffocates and gives up!

While I put my strong points here, my only message is, don’t plunge, and take your time! She is waiting with her cues match yours patiently, it may take time but it will happen! For more help, here it is

Cues to a soulmate

·         It’s passionate: It’s extreme both in good and bad times. In good times you want that intensity to always exist and in bad times the intensity works to solve the problem quickly and bring it back to normalcy!

·         “You stole my words”: You may say it’s natural and can happen with anyone. But if the thoughts and words are blurted together all the time with your love, it’s a sure sign of a soulmate.

·         Harder to break in trying times: every relation will be a roller coaster, but in downs if you time and again don’t want to break free but want to mend it, where you don’t want to give up mutually then you have your soulmate.

·         Feeling of oneness: Where you two feel one and are ready to face the world for good and trying times.

·         You can’t imagine your life without him/her: Without her you feel as if you are a lone ranger! When the feeling of belongingness grabs you!

·         Constant thinking of the other’s happiness: where all you do and want to do is think of how can you make the other happy.

·         When you feel safe and protected: A person, who will secure your insecurities, be it a man or a woman will make you feel safe and protected is a sign of a soulmate!

·         It is beyond love:Now this one is a caveat that not all will agree but I feel that your soulmate will meet you each life time and you will also realize that this is it! In what role she/he meets is a different deal! But it is beyond the mortal world and you will know!

 
Well, all I can say listen to your Mheart before your Pheart takes over! And if you come across your soulmate don’t give in you may have to wait a lifetime!

One’s destination is never a place, but a new way of seeing things!

Wish all my friends who religiously follow the blog a very happy new year! I hope all of you could take some time off at year end and spend some time with people who matter and introspect on how wiser weare after 2013 with all the experiences and mistakes we made during the year J.

Well, 2013 for me was completely a travel year, seeing new places, meeting new people and some wonderful memories.


Nice promanade!

I lived the luxury of Nice and Monaco, the place is lavishness personified, as an automotive consultant I have always been fascinated by cars and Monaco displayed more mean machines than what I had seen at the Geneva motor show J.



On my way from Nice to Monaco

Fun facts of Monaco/Monte Carlo:

  • It’s the second smallest country, known for Monaco grand prix and the flamboyant Monte-Carlo casino complex.
  • Known as Europe’s tax haven, each and every individual citizens of Monaco enjoys a tax-free  lifestyle since the 1870s. For decades, Monaco lived off solely on its casinos.
  • You may take the train, your helicopter or your yacht (if you have one) if you want to go to Monaco but please, no private jets (if you have one as well.) There are no airports in Monaco.
  • The total population is just 32,000 out of which only 6000 have a Monaco passport, rest migrants.
  • The elegant façade and panache interiors of the Monte-Carlo Casino had been a filming location of three James Bond Films namely “Casino Royal”, GoldenEye, and Never Say Never Again.” I wouldn’t be surprised if one day they choose to shoot a new James Bond film at Monte-Carlo Casino. It’s just that classy!





Spring brought in a breeze of romance with me in Venice. I met people who had come there to marry but I particularly loved the laid back life style. I was amazed to see the entire city on water, the only mode of transport – boats and it’s truly romantic.

Fun facts of Venice/Venecia:

Venice captured the impression of a magical floating city by setting wood pilings on the 118 submerged islands in the Northern end of the Adriatic Sea. 400 foot bridges and 170 boat canals connect the city to make it easily accessible to the local populace.

  • It was truly a maze where I got lost a few times and walked through the narrow alleys and foot bridges was a good walk through the day!
  • Go to Venice and no Gondola ride, you haven’t seen anything then. It was a wonderful experience where I got to know only 3 to 4 Gondolier licenses are issued annually. To qualify, applicants must be able to finish an extensive training after passing a rigorous exam. There are only 400 licensed Gondolas operating in Venice today. I had just seen the movie the tourist and got me to such a déjà vu feeling. In fact Stromae, the pop singer too created music on a Gondola on a valentine’s day.
  • Venice has a cursed palace known as the most eerie place. The series of unexplainable deaths which seem to affect all of its owners first started way back when the structure was built in 1847.

Summer got me on a different high when I visited Amsterdam! I was amazed at the open and non-judgemental culture the place offers. I got off the cab to find police rushing into the Park hotel where I had booked. Ichickened out J while checking in I saw the police take in a man (with no
 



expression and walking dead) being handcuffed and taken away. Out of curiosity I asked the receptionist to which she promptly mentioned, “that’s a routine!” “Routine?” I looked at her puzzled. “Yes mam, he is stoned after getting high on drugs and turned the tap on the entire night and turning the entire room into a swimming pool. We do nothing in such cases and just call the police. They take him.” I had no reaction but still asked, “And? Now what?” She cooly explained, “Nothing, they take him and once he is sane, they leave him, he will sleep in the lock up now.”

Cool! I said to myself…welcome to Amsterdam!

Now some interesting things about Amsterdam

  • There are 700,000 people and a million bikes…wonder who rides them!
  • Amsterdam May Soon Disappear L. The majority of Amsterdam is below sea level. At its lowest point, it is 6.7 metres below sea level. If climate change causes even a small increase in global sea levels, Amsterdam may go the way of Atlantis.
  • 86 percent of Amsterdam residents are polyglots (people who speak more than two languages), speaking English, Dutch and third language fluency. That made my life way easier.
  • On average, an Amsterdam resident consumes a minimum of 140 litres of coffee per year or about 3.2 cups of coffee per day, making them the second largest coffee consumers in the world.
  • The average height for a Dutch male is 184 cm, and the average height for a Dutch female is 170 cms.
  • Now this is interesting, Amstie has more canals than Venice. Often called the “Venice of the North,” Amsterdam boasts over 165 canals that compose a comprehensive network throughout the entire city. 
  •   I also saw the Gay pride parade 2013 – a fun event of music and colourful costumes, spreading a message of equity and a right of being oneself.
And some kinky facts too
  •  Drugs are freely available in Amsterdam. The Dutch allows buying and selling of 5 grams of soft drugs to each person in over 300 of their coffee shops. I tried it two nights and had a trip will not forget for life!
  • Prostitution is legal here. You can visit the red light district to see women in their skimpy clothes. And trust me, they look super. Get back guys and don’t ideas!

Winter got me to the land of the midnight sun, Norway! Mesmerising, Hypnotic, Enthralling and still fall short of adjectives to describe what I witnessed. This has been the most wonderful and memorable travel so far. I visited a place called Tromsø, known as the capital of the Arctic as is located 350 kms north of the Arctic Circle.
Tromsø has 70,000 inhabitants, but is a vibrant city! People are very warm and hospitable. I had some very interesting conversations and memorable moments.

 





The midnight sun can be seen during summer months, I witnessed the beauty of the Aurora lights, also known as the northern lights. The sun rose at around 10 am and set at 14.00; I would leave with the tour guide at 17.00 hours and come back an hour or two past midnight. She would drive a group of 5-7 of us outside the city with no city light pollution and a temperature of -13 degrees. We would park at a spot known to her. I change the tense now to present for better depiction of the experience. She switched off the light of the van and I peep outside from behind the glass window. Not a soul in sight or a ray of light and deafening silence. I followed others out of the van, and dropped myself in waist deep snow. After some struggle, the tour guide, Trine pulled me out. Even after 7 layers of clothing, I was cold. I balanced myself and then looked up. The view was out of this world, pun intended. The sky was clear and completely starlit; there was not a patch of darkness in the sky. The view was simply breath-taking. I was stunned! The sound of waves, the silence and the awesome view gave me more than what I could ever ask for.
 
We walked a few steps to hit the shore of the ocean and set our cameras. The show then started. A streak of milky light started appearing in from behind a mountain and kept spreading across the sky. The neon lights are not visible to a naked eye and can be seen on pictures taken on a high end camera. The pictures showed colors of neon green, orange, pink and violet. I forgot I was cold, I forgot I existed in this world, I forgot my work, and my life and all that existed around me. I felt blessed and divine. Trine told stories and myths around the existence of the lights. We enjoyed the beauty for a couple of hours before Trine took us to a Lavo (a tent). A




bonfire in the middle of the Lavo surrounded by logs of wood with reindeer skin placed over them for warmth. We sat on it, enjoying the flames that provided comfort. Trine got us dark coffee and homemade cake and I relished it a lot. We had a few rounds of viewing the lights followed by coffee before we returned.

The next day, was no less adventurous. A group of 20 on a boat out in the ocean, very far north to view the whales, I couldn’t ask for more. The ocean was wild and choppy as we started early in the morning! The two guides’ one from Iceland and the other a Norwegian were so informative and almost grew up with whales. The ocean was colder than I had thought. 



We stood there waiting for the whales to appear. After more than a couple of hours in the ocean, the guy perched on top of the ship shouted, “I see them, 3’oclock.” All 20 heads turn right and yes, we see a black body far getting into water. The ship moves closer and we see two more. Magnanimous beings, following each other in a perfect rhythm in the water, I zoom in my camera to get a view, beauty at its best! We see more and more of them, feasting on other fish, their fins splashing water and pumping water up to 3 feet in the air. It was a trip worth it.
 “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream.Discover.” Mark Twain.

all pictures ©2013 Shweta Dave
 

 

Twilight 2012!

It’s the dusk of 2012 and thought of taking a stock of how I fared through it. This definitely was not the toughest year for me however if I got to summarize it in one word it’s just SURVIVED!!
Every eye on the planet was on this year as the earth was to end however GOD too is great at cinematography and gave a dramatic climax by keeping us on the edge the whole year just to say, ‘it isn’t happening this year man!’ May be he is planning a sequel J

For me the year was a year of experiments. I was in a new land through the year and all through the year I just heard my heart telling my mind, ‘take it in your stride, there’s always a first time.’ So much so that I started dreading first times and longed for a routine.
This was also full of people, again most of them I met ‘first time’. I truly believe small minds discuss people but this calls for a discussion.
I met people whose sole existence was to demean, belittle which rose from insecurity or some vested interest. On the other hand I also met people whom I referred to as the nicest I have met in life, people who believed it’s important to be nice, be human. Such people whom you want to be around for life as they have positivity around them. Well another category was straight talkers. I am an on the face person and expect transparency. I agree it has its own negatives, but it’s better than the untrustworthy sweet talkers. I met some who just had one agenda – how can I use a person to my advantage. I made some good friends who knew how to make merry on a sad day, who stood by without being judgmental. All in all a mixed bag which is quite the case with everyone.
My profit and loss for this year would culminate in the balance sheet contributing to life. I lost my dearest granpa. At 97, he was so positive. He taught me to be compassionate and to be giving. This loss is irreplaceable. Another loss was on May 3rd, no words or expressions for this one.

During the year I changed myself at times; I changed my conduct with a disapproval of my heart just to suit situations and circumstances. But this change was inevitable, it shook me but I couldn’t avoid it. In return I gained faith, faith with every heartbeat which said this too shall pass. One major advantage was I met with some of the very experienced professionals and leveraged some best practices to add to my career.

Though the year was tilted more on loss, I am glad for two things, one that I am much wiser than the start of the year. I gained from all the experiences I had this year and promise myself not to err again on the ones I did. Second thing that makes me glad is the year is overJ. This year was as enriching as it was enthralling.  
I look forward to a great 2013, with all enthusiasm, positivity and energy to take on the challenges that life has to offer.
Adios and see you in the New Year!
Will leave you with this nazm by the immortal Jagjit Singhji, it truly portrays survival.
कभी आँसूं कभी खुशी बेचीं 
हम  गरीबों ने बेकसी (loneliness) बेचीं।
 चन सासें खरीदने केलिए 
रोज़ थोड़ी सी ज़िन्दगी बेचीं।
जब  रुलाने लगे मुझे साये 
मैंने उक्ताके (after getting tired) रौशनी बेचीं। 
इक हम थे बिक गए खुद ही 
वर्ना दुनिया ने दोस्ती बेचीं।
कभी आँसूं कभी खुशी बेचीं 
हम  गरीबों ने बेकसी बेचीं।

Tactical v/s Strategic: My perspective

Off late I have been often hearing and using myself the words tactical and strategic. After giving a deeper thought I felt revisiting the two and providing my flavor to the same.

Before I share my perspective lets understand the widely accepted view on these.
Tactical meaning: of or relating to tactics: as (1): of or relating to small-scale actions serving a larger purpose (2): made or carried out with only a limited or immediate end in view.

Strategic: Strategy [1]) is a general, undetailed plan of action, encompassing a long period of time, to achieve a complicated goal.

Considering dictionary meaning, the common understanding is
1) Tactical is short-term and Strategic is long-term, or…
2) Tactical is small and Strategic is big, or…
3) Tactical is kludgy and Strategic is high-quality
Well now that we understand the widely accepted meaning, I can draw an analogy which I call my perspective. The part of the world that I belong, we are known for our rich culture and customs. There are lot of rituals and ceremonies before a couple enters a social institution of marriage. One of the customs is that the couple exchange rings more popularly known as engagement. This last 6 to 12 months before the couple takes vows to be together for life.
I know your thought is what’s the   analogy? Well ancestors who designed this ‘architecture’ were the best in their job. The analogy is that engagement which is more of a tactical option gives the couple a chance to relate to small-scale actions serving a larger purpose J.  Marriage where the couple is tied with no escape is more of a strategic solution and as the meaning puts undetailed plan of action, encompassing a long period of time, to achieve a complicated goal, the complicated goal here I assume is the ‘and they lived happily ever after J’ Till the time marriage isn’t announced the couple can think if they would like to go strategic, once gone strategic there is no looking back.
Now that most of you may agree with the analogy, I would like to end this with what a friend shared a few days ago. When I was casually discussing the tactical vs. strategic he gave me a very good example of a tactical mistake vs. a strategic blunder. Post the strategic implementation of your plan of marriage if a man gifts his wife a present which she doesn’t like it’s a tactical mistake while if he altogether forgets her birthday it’s a strategic blunder. 

Complexities among shades of Grey!!!

To confess, my next blog was ‘The warmth of his hand’….but a discussion with a friend and her complex situation with her boyfriend turned the course of action towards this blog J
I did like to start with a disclaimer – this isn’t a second in series of male bashing articles but a different perspective rather my perspective to reading the dominant sex (by sheer number).

While all women across the world drooled over E. L. James depiction of young business magnate, Christian Grey and his 50 shades, I would like to draw your attention to the not so happening shades of a man.

I looked up Wikipedia and understand that the sex ratio for the entire world population is 101 males to 100 females. Then am sure the one man over the 100 is Christian Grey. So here is my reading of the not so happening traits among men that an average woman would abhor or in my perspective are beyond normal.

Men who laugh without a reason – don’t give me surprised looks, they exist and in our very own world. A friend brought this up, she was seeing this guy for some time and was just unable to understand the cause of his laughter without a reason on anything or without anything, she is sitting across a table, talking something she needs an opinion on and here goes the laughter. Am sure the thinking bandwagon would tick there on thoughts of course what was the laughter which breaks in every few seconds for? Worst still…..what’s the joke dude? The only oxymoron that fits well for such people is I got to fathom the depth of their shallow minds.

Men who go silent or are non-reactive – you talk to them one reaction silence, you convey your thoughts no response. Imagine a conversation where a woman is her chirpy self, excited to meet him after days, loads to share and there is only one reaction……you got that right no reaction J. On another note I do agree that most men are more visually-driven, they would be watching her rather than hearing her J

Men who are non-responsive – Well this could be coming from the known trait most men can’t express themselves. Don’t express, respond to situations, respond to people. I saw her in a fix and had to tell her don’t expect a response. I do sometimes feel being more direct might help, but it depends on what we ask for. A vaguely asked question might not be responded specially the “we need to talk!’ ones.

Given this I still feel that women can be more complex than men. Given the complexity, I am not among those who pose problems, I think there is a solution to every problem and some quick fixes may help.

Be direct – Avoid using hinting as a way to ask for what you want, be direct. These tactics make men feel manipulated and lost, that makes them angry.

Give time – Men have been trained to have all the answers and avoid showing their fear or uncertainty. Men prefer to talk only when they know the answer or solution, and will not like to talk much until then. They like to do their thinking process silently. So give time.

Give Way – there will be enough clues to understand if you can carry on or not. Get them right; don’t hang around the branch if it’s growing thorns. Understand and move on. You might be the next Adele and make it big after he is gone who knows J


Lastly to err is human be it us or them so never give up on someone you can’t go a day without thinking about, rest time heals everything!!

I can’t end it without a nazm, so here it is…


गाँठ अगर लग जाये तोह फिर रिश्ते हों या डोरी 
लाख करे कोशिश खुलने में वक़्त तोह लगता है।

नए परिंदों को उड़ने में वक़्त तोह लगता है 
प्यार का पहला ख़त लिखने में वक़्त तोह लगता है।