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Broken Shadows!

 

She entered the dingy waiting room at the railway station. It was a small square room with three benches against the three walls and a door on the fourth. The stench complementing the dirt dropped around making it evident that it had not be used, frequented or seldom cleaned. She moved to the bench on the left of the room and tried to sit there, but she noticed the bench was not clean. She moved on the opposite bench, a small window faced the railway tracks; she placed the papers in her hands and the bag on the bench and wrapped her handkerchief on her hand and pushed the window out. After some struggle she could force the rusted hinges to budge. The rain showered just to confess the earth of its love. She kept staring at the downpour thinking it rained the same that night.  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….
“How did you come here Ananya?”
“That doesn’t matter Rohan, the rains are not stronger than your voice on the phone that even though was calm screamed you would leave me.”
“You are drenched, don’t stand there, and come inside.”
“I have lots of questions Rohan, but don’t give me an answer. Just say it once that Reema is better than me. She has it all beauty, care, money and love that I don’t. Just say it, my heart will be lighter and life will be easier to live then.” There was no comparison of the speed of her tears to that of the downpour.
“It won’t be easier Ananya, it will be even difficult. The thought of living without you kills me in an instant.”
“Looking at your innocent face, I feel like believing in you again Rohan.” She added.
“What I am saying is true, but I also know that if you see the storm coming head on it makes sense to turn your boat and move away.” He added with a straight emotionless face.
“You have started talking a lot of sense Rohan. I just regret that why I did not get this sense before you did. Today please also tell me what if our paths ever cross in the future then….”
Before she could complete he said, “Then we will not promise each other to meet again Ananya.”
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….
Ananya just dropped herself on the bench, staring at the slow moving fan on the ceiling, lost in oblivion.
After a while a man entered hastily and sat on the adjacent bench trying to read the papers in his again and again. Ananya too lost in her thoughts did not notice any activity. He noticed her, dragged himself on the bench to get a closer view. The woman he saw looked tired, her hair were loosely tied in a bun which touched her nape. Her sky blue chiffon saree was worn perfect; her wedges were seen beneath the saree as she rested her feet forward. Her face looked like a tired bird that had migrated miles to reach home. Her hands showed she was used to working and not in any luxury.
“Ananya?”
She opened her eyes slowly and she straightened her head that rested on the bench. Moving forward she tried to recognise the frame of the man under the dim light bulb.
“Rohan, is that you?” her voice had matured, speaking out loud that she was a woman and not a girl in late twenties anymore.
“Yes, it’s me.” A restless voice responded, the breathing was loud and hard. A closer look at Rohan made her realise, his face was worn out and worried, his dark lips exposed that he was a chain smoker now. His feet constantly moving as he spoke.
 “How are you Rohan?” her voice calm as a still lake.
“How are you Ananya? 6 years have passed and we meet today.” He said unsurprisingly.
“What difference does it make in meeting today or not meeting the entire life?” She sighed.
“You haven’t changed a bit, Ananya.”
“What would we have got by both of us changing Rohan; only one among us changed sufficed. You changed was enough.”
“So you left him Ananya, you didn’t marry?”
“Gaddi lagne wali hai, chheti aao” (“the train is going to arrive, don’t be late.”) the station master announced and left in a jiffy.
“It’s already late.” Ananya murmured to herself and got up slowly moving towards the door, Rohan saw the papers on the bench left behind. He picked them and got up, the bulb hanging flashed on the papers and the only thing he could make out that they were legal papers which read ADOPTION.
“Ananya, these papers are yours, left behind.”
Ananya turned startled, “No, I have mine.” as she put her hand forth to show the papers. The light bulb flashed on the paper and it read, DIVORCE.
Rohan quietly took the papers from her hand and handed her papers back. This train journey was going to be really long.
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I Want You Tonight!

“It’s my land; I know you don’t get booze here! It’s banned in this state.” She confidently said it. “Ani, I don’t understand why you like yourself being proven wrong always.”

“Yeah right!” she exclaimed making a face.

“What do I get if I prove you wrong?” Rohan held Ananya’s face close to his looking into her eyes.

“Anything, as I know you will never get it here.” Ananya said kissing his hand.

“Are you sure, anything….you know it’s been a while and this time I would really be demanding.”

“Oh, I am confident, anything.”

“Cool, see you in a bit and wear the best you can, be ready….tonight is mine.”

“Sure, will wait and be ready to welcome your sad sulking face.”

He put on his sneakers and ran out. The hotel room closed with a thud behind him. Ananya had never seen him so happy and carefree.

Ananya painted her nails and went for a shower. She changed in a black short slip before sneaking into the bed under the comforter reading ‘Things beyond Forever’. After a while he opened the door and walked in.

She peeped over the book, “Welcome, Mr. Engineer and show me your face.” She looked at him closely, he was perspiring profusely, his white tee completely wet. Droplets of sweat trickled down his face as he seriously looked at her. “What?” she said aloud.

His lips broke into a smile as he revealed a bottle wrapped in brown paper. “oh, gosh…..nooooooo.” she hid her face behind the book.

He ran towards her, trying to sneak into the comforter. “No, please take a shower.” She pushed him. “You are right come.” He pulled her hand.

“No, I had one…” “And who said we can have just one.” And he pulled her in the bathroom. He filled two glasses with vodka and orange juice and placed them on the wash basin. Then she sat on the bath tub edge and he on the toilet seat, he pulled a Davidoff and smoked telling her how he managed the booze. She looked at him with sheer amazement sipping the vodka.

He then took a shower constantly talking to her on things that are different in “Her Land”.

“So, now that you have lost the bet, brace yourself honey.” He said pouring another drink.

She kissed leaving her red lipstick mark on his white tee, “Will this do?” “Are you kidding, the stakes are high honey.” He pulled a deck of cards.

They played poker, where she bet her clothes one after another and kept losing. They finished ¾ of the bottle, he was tipsy and she was high. He pushed her on the floor completely covering her body with his. His fingers circled the periphery of her lips as he looked in her eyes. He held her hand not leaving it for a moment.
 

She seduced him in her ways…caressing his weaknesses and switching the best of love and lust in him. She let him discover her in every way he desired. He engulfed her as she closed her eyes in anticipation of the epitome of this sensuous rendezvous. She gave up her defences as he fondled her supple body. Love reached its zenith and lust at pinnacle as his rawness thrust her. He longed for her fragrance as she for the sweetness of his sweat trickling down his brow onto her body. At one moment their passion was on fire giving in to the rhythmic divine oneness.

Their bodies ignited as they made zealous love before falling into each other’s arms in the wee hours. He was right, he was really demanding that night. They talked, laughed, whisper sweet nothings in between making love through the night. Rohan and Ananya were on a different high…they were high on life!
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Beetein Lamhe, Nostalgia!

The Window shut with a thud, Ananya seated on the arm chair opened her eyes startled by the noise. She realized she had fallen asleep with the book in her hand, Jagjit Singh’s ‘tere khushboo main base khat main jalata kaise’ still softly playing in the background. She got up to open the window when Rohan’s picture fell from the book. She picked it up, opened the window and got back to the chair. She adjusted the blue satin gown as she placed her feet on the table and drew the shawl closer around her. Rohan’s picture was the one he has sent before leaving for Iran on a business trip last year. She had a closer look at the picture and a smile broke on her face seeing his baby like eyes behind the glasses. He preferred to wear a white tee with checked shirt and denim. Smile was rare but with Ananya around it never receded. He dressed simple but classy; he was more European than Indian when it came to dressing. It was less than 24 hours before she could see her love face to face, Ananya cuddled in her chair went to sleep thinking of the moments spent together.

For Rohan being behind the wheel with Ananya by his side was no less than heaven. He couldn’t contain his happiness; he did not want to leave Ananya’s hand even while driving. He would softly hold her hand and place it on his thigh managing to drive with one hand. “Rohan please will you tell me where are we headed, you have just been smiling and hiding it from me and will you please leave my hand I got to show you all my lipstick shades” Ananya said in a chirpy tone. Rohan kissed her hand “Yes wifey as you please, we are today going to fulfill all the promises I made to you sweetie.” Adjectives for Rohan were rare but if he would be really happy he would address her with wifey, jaana, honey, sweetie…it was just endless. They talked all about Iran as Ananya tested her lip stick shades on Rohan’s hand and got a nod on each being good or bad. Rohan parked his car outside Delhi Haat. Ananya gave a puzzled look. Rohan then said that they were there to shop for all that he has promised her. Ananya remembered the conversation when Rohan had got his first salary and said ‘Ani, this I got to give to dad but I promise I will buy you each piece of Indian accessory you desire and winked and continued saying ‘the more you wear the more pleasurable it will be for me to get you off it.”
Ani’s demands were small but very close to her heart. She quickly hopped off the car and they entered the market hand in hand. He would wait outside the shop patiently looking at Ani choosing earrings, payal and bangles. She tried the green bangles and peeped outside the shop at Rohan who was smoking his cig, she held the bangles on her fingers and gestured if he liked them. He smiled and that said it all. She got all of it packed and removed Rohan’s wallet to pay, the shopkeeper gave it weird reaction looking at the gents’ wallet come out of Ani’s big hand bag. She gauged what was happening and in a manly tone asked how much…and then burst out laughing as she settled the bill. That day Rohan drove for 8 hours around Delhi to shop, he also took her to Palam Vihar to show the apartment he was looking forward to buy and promised Ani to get her out of the complexity she was in; the dreams in their eyes were larger than life and as some put it quite unrealistic.
A cold hand on Ananya’s forehead got her back to the real world; in the past three months since Rohan had stopped speaking Ananya’s life too had stopped.  Ananya’s mom had realized where her daughter’s happiness was but that wasn’t of much help. She approved of Rohan but the circumstances never allowed them to be together. She had done all to move on, counseling sessions and medication too had not helped. Ani’s mom sat next to her and kissed her forehead, ‘did you sleep well Ani…” the background nazm played, ‘dafn kar do ham eke saans mile, nabz kuch der se thami si hai…aaj phir aapki kami si hai.’
 
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Unchained Emotions!

“Boss, ek Davidoff lights please.” Rohan asked the vendor glancing at the watch thinking he was well in time. Rohan had a habit of reaching almost a couple of hours in advance at the airport to receive Ananya. The entire rainy season was dry but it was pouring heavily that day. All flights were delayed. He stood there in a less crowded corner of the airport while others waited early at the arrival gate eagerly waiting for their loved ones. Rain GOD was showering all its love that evening, Delhi airport resembled no less than Lajpat Nagar market. The taxis and car drivers shouting at each other with blaring horns and high beam headlights flashing as the traffic jam did not clearing for long.

Ananya looked at her watch as she walked out of the arrival gate. The crowd moved to the left petulantly searching for their names on the sign boards held by various hotel staff. Ananya dragged her trolley as she moved to the right of the gate nodding in denial to the taxi drivers surrounding her. The drivers gradually cleared and she could see Rohan waiting there smiling at her smoking the last bit before throwing the butt off. He looked at her in a white knee length dress with minimal jewelry and she observed his toned body wearing a white tee and a checked shirt and denims. Ananya hurriedly dragged the trolley and reached him. She waited at an arms distance and looked at him. He had sought permission over call the previous day to hug her at the airport; after all they were seeing each other after two months. He got close to her felt some discomfort, Ananya looked into his eyes and he hugged her tight. With six inch heels Ananya’s arms reached perfectly to wrap around Rohan’s neck. Rohan hugged her up and close just as Ananya liked it.

 He released her smiled again took the trolley from her hand and started walking. Ananya loved rains and was cheerful to see pour so heavy. She stood in the rain for a minute before Rohan held her hand got her to the car. They were drenched, he opened the door for her she sat and he got behind the steering wheel. He was waiting for this very moment since two months to have a look at her face for long. He kept observing her as she held his hand over the gear. Not a word was spoken till now just pure love; their way of expression was beyond words. ‘Where’s my rose?’ Ananya broke the silece and asked excitedly. ‘You think in this rain I would be able to get you a rose Ani?’ Rohan always got her a red rose when they met. ‘Ok, I understand’ she said dejectedly. He looked at her and opened the sunblock shade to get the rose and give it to her, saying ‘Is it possible not to come without one, I love you Ananya.’ Her happiness had no bounds, she naughtily said, ‘Rohan, you know when I will say that to you right.’ There was a thud on the window; Rohan rolled the window down to talk to the man, ‘Kabse horn baja raha hoon, suna nahi aapne, bohot jaldi hai mujhe…gaddi nakaloji.’ Rohan responded, ‘haan’ rolled the window up looked at Ananya, ‘ mujhe koi jaldi nahi.’ And started the car.

All the way he held her hand, managing to drive with one hand, using the other only while turning. ‘Rohan, I am very hungry!’ exclaimed Ananya. ‘It will at least take us an hour to reach a decent restaurant Ani, I will try to reach faster.’ Delhi is notorious for its traffic and the rains were cherry on the cake. They reached the restaurant quite late; the best about Delhi is everything is open till late in the night. He parked the car near the garden; Ananya was shivering with wet clothes clinging on her. Rohan got the keys off, looked at Ananya in her eyes, got closer to her smelling the fragrance of green apple (DKNY be delicious), slowly held her face in his hands, his thumb resting on her cheeks as he got his face closer and kissed her for long his breath providing all the warmth she required to stop shivering. He stopped opened his eyes and gestured if she was feeling better. Ananya had a broad smile, Aren’t you hungry Rohan? Let’s go.’ ‘I am hungry Ani, lets continue.’ ‘Stop it Rohan, let’s go.’ They ran into the restaurant getting drenched again.

They entered to find the place fine dining with people dressed well and cutlery clinging all around. Ananya thought not dressed for the place turned around to leave, Rohan held her hand and stood there waiting to be seated. The waiter approached them observing the dripping water of their clothes. Waiter came in quickly asking, ‘what should I serve you sir?’Rohan retorted, ‘One Glenlivet on the rocks and Chardonnay for the lady please. Also get us hot food at the earliest.’ They ate dinner and left for the guest house.
Rohan halted the car outside Ananya’s hotel. It had been two months, he had waited for the moment to latch the room and have a satisfaction that the next two days were just his and no one else. That night they gave a new meaning to words care, passion, emotion and desire. That night several times Ananya said, ‘Rohan, I love you!’

Thank you readers for the overwhelming mails and positive response, I received a lot of questions firstly to know me, well as mentioned am on a journey to know myself, the day I do I share it here. Secondly enquiring more on Rohan and Ananya. I would just say stay with me and look through my eyes they are just around you.

I

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Warmth of his hand!!

She waited at the cross roads near the car service center looking at the busy moving traffic and the struggling traffic cop trying to manage the giant B.E.S.T buses and the two wheeler speedos. The sun was setting with the smog visible through the headlights on the road. She was physically present and mentally thinking of how her life has turned in the past 6 months.

Suddenly the cacophony on the road caught her attention and she saw a two wheeler lose its balance as a car slightly brushed it from behind. The man wasn’t too hurt. He coolly parked his scooty at the side of the road walked towards the car driver and knocked on his mirror. The driver preparing for an apology rolled his window down. The scooty rider removed his slipper and gave it hard on the drivers face, wore it again and walked away.
Ananya couldn’t help but burst out laughing at the rider’s idiosyncrasy. Well that’s Mumbai, no one has the time to land in a fight but they are such firefighters that they got to react at least. On the other side Ananya realized that it had been long that she had a hearty laugh like this, best would be the moments when she would be with her best friend not caring for the world laughing over things that normal people would not call sane.
The chain of thoughts were just on when an auto rickshaw came and stopped near her. Looking at a known figure in she hopped in and it drove off. There was silence, she placed her hand on her side and looked out as the auto drove at full speed. Suddenly she felt his hand placed on hers and she looked at him in the eye. Her hands were always cold and the warmth that his hands provided was more than she could ask for. He closed his eyes and nodded as if giving some assurance. She slightly smiled and nodded too confirming she understood that he would be around and all will be ok.

The road was full of speeding vehicles and the rickshaw drivers no less than Schumi took dangerous turns to avoid potholes. The vehicle had just crossed the first flyover and gave up. The driver dragged it to the side. Both Ananya and Rohan were in no hurry to reach anywhere. There are people with whom you feel for and want for so long that it is beyond time, money and even life. This was one of those relations. Not defined or named by the society. Rohan got off the and asked the driver what the problem was. Ananya tried to get down too, Rohan signaled her to be in shade. Her mobile buzzed and she was lost in her big bag to trace it. It was an airline message, mentioning the flight was delayed by 30 minutes. She smiled and looked to find Rohan nowhere in sight.

She would get a little restless if he would be out of sight. He appeared from the other side and placed the chilled bottle of water on her hand. She looked at him and smiled, he said in a soft tone, “This is to remind you, that you need to drink more water.” Ananya once felt she understood him and at times also felt she understood nothing. His way of caring was different, it wasn’t obvious and shown, and it was felt……

The driver pulled the handle twice but couldn’t start it, Rohan moved towards it and pulled it once and it started. He hopped in next to her and placed his hand on the side not to find hers. He looked at her and she realized his need. She placed her hand on his and the rickshaw sped off.

There were no words spoken, only the warmth felt. It had become some sought of ritual of him dropping and picking her from the airport. Their work involved a lot of travel. The rickshaw entered terminal 1B and stopped at the departure gate. They both alighted and waited looking at each other. ‘Oh, I forgot to mention the flight is delayed Rohan.’ He looked at her with a broad smile, ‘Good, let’s go then.’ ‘Where, it’s not much, just 30 minutes.’ Ananya said in a puzzled tone. ‘Every minute can be cherished, Ani.” He held her hand and pulled her away from the gate, hopped on the rickshaw again and sped off. They halted outside the Centaur hotel, both got down, he not leaving her hand moved to the tea stall. ‘Do chai, patti tez, cheeni kum’ (two teas, strong with less sugar) he ordered. That was their standard drink, their poison if you can put it, especially if it is from a road side tea stall. Every sip was like a cherished moment together. He would finish his tea so quick and light his Davidoff till the time Ananya sipped her tea.

They reached the departure gate in time. Both looked in each other’s eyes and held hands. A hug was very occasional in public, it was left for the moments which Rohan defined as his dream, where each day he would get up seeing her face and end the day by latching the door with only her to be with. She held his hand tight, to feel the warmth and treasure it till they met again……

Her hands are still always cold, and she still feels the warmth of his hand when she closes her eyes.

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Unwanted Decisions……

There are certain situations that put us in jeopardy and give us no choice but to make one decision….the decision we don’t want to make, the decision that we know will do no good, the decision that will not let us be ourselves ever in life and the decision that will make us lose the most valuable people in life. This blog post is dedicated to those decisions who themselves would have died a thousand deaths when someone took them.

It was September of 2000 and had got my semester results; I called my sister straight from college and started in my chirpy voice, “Guddi di, hello….hello…” the phone went blank before I could hear her. I dialed again, “Guddidi, you there…” A meek but serious voice answered back, “Yeh Sweetie” I could wait further and broke the news, “I have passed with flying colors this semester.” I could not curb my happiness and wanted to speak at length. “I am very happy for you Sweetie, keep it up” Not hearing all of it, I mentioned I will come in a week’s time speak to her at length and hung up.

In a week’s time before I could meet her, she gave up her life. She was 25. A decision made over a failed marriage, dreams crashed, unwanted circumstances. I think very often of the moment she would have faced, when she stood on the parapet of the 7th floor looking down the building before jumping. A decision that she never wanted to take, a decision that affected us all for life…..

There are times when people fall in love and feel they would not want anything else in life but the hand of the person
they love. Then make a decision of parting for reasons that rest on their shoulders as responsibilities or social obligations. This decision keeps all around happy, except for the person who made it. That person loses herself forever. She changes to someone whom she cannot recognize in the mirror. She is like that complex jigsaw that cannot be put together by anyone but her love.

We read big books, attend sessions and belong to the well-read class, we all would be found telling the other its one life to live, why not make the fullest of what we have. And when it comes to making that one decision we fail and let our soul down. We make that one decision for our parents, for our loved ones for anyone else but for ourselves. Can we not just do what would keep us happy rather than the superficial others? Better said than done….i agree.

So here’s this dedication for all the people who made this one unwanted decision in life and lost the one they loved and knew with whom they would have made the best of life. This nazm is written by poet Ahmed Faraz and sung by the late Mehndi Hassan.

अब के हम बिछड़े तोह शायद कभी ख़्वाबों में मिले
जिस तरह सूखे हुए फूल किताबों में मिले…..

ढून्ढ उजड़े लोगों में वफ़ा के मोती 
यह खजाने तुझे मुमकिन है खरबों में मिले…….

तू खुदा हें ना मेरा इश्क फ़रिश्तों जैसा
दोनों इंसान हैं तोह इनुम इतने हिजाबों में मिले….

घम-ए-दुनिया भी घम-ए-यार में शामिल कर लो
नशा बहता है शराबों में तोह शराबों में मिले….

अब लबों में हूं ना तू हें ना माझी है फराक
जैसे दो साए तमाना के सराबों में मिले…


Miss you!!!

If we now part, we will find
each other in dreams
like we find the dry flowers
pressed against the pages of books

Perhaps you’ll find
the pearls of loyalty
in the fog of desolate, lost people
fallen to dark misfortunes.
  
You are not God,
nor is my love like angels
we are both human,
so why we meet behind veils?
Let’s put sorrows of life
into the pathos of love.
only waters of fire
add fires to waters.
Now it’s not me, not you
nor is the past, O Faraaz!
we’re like two people
meeting in the mirage of desires.







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Bridges of Madison County…….

It is said that opposites attract, for long they worked on projects together and had high regards. Ananya came across as a no non-sense, straight forward workaholic woman and Rohan reserved, quiet and reticent. One thing that they had in common was both were loners, both needed no companionship but the reason for this for each was different.

“why do you have to force this on me? I am ok the way I am” Ananya extremely disturbed stood in the most unobserved corner of the office building speaking to her mom. “I am not able to forget things that have happened, I would never be able to get over it, please let me be.” Walking towards the elevator she hung up, eyes red as she came face to face with Rohan. She kept her calm and tried to close the elevator door, Rohan gauging things well asked if all was well. Her tears brimmed over again as she started to speak, “I’m ok, thank you.” Rohan just at arms distance placed his hand on her shoulder and before he could ask again, Ananya turned and hugged him tight crying as she mentioned again and again that all was okay. Rohan did not stop her; he did not let the elevator door open and just went from ground level to seven and seven to ground several times. The only two thoughts that chased his mind were how could a strong woman like her crumble like this and second that he did not want anyone to witness the vulnerable woman in his arms. There was a sense of awkwardness of his current situation and for the moment after she would gather herself. She had held his arm and sleeve tight as she wept, no matter how strong the woman believes she is, there is a need for a hand that she can hold and get a sense of belongingness that makes her feel complete.

The elevator door finally opened with a thud on the fifth floor, she separated herself from him and without saying a word walked away. She was to go back to Chennai, she picked her bag and left in a jiffy. During the day Rohan visited Ananya’s desk and learnt she had left. He noticed she had in a hurry left a book on the desk, it read….Bridges of Madison County…….

Rohan carried the book home, “Francesca: Robert, please. You don’t understand, no-one does. When a woman makes the choice to marry, to have children; in one way her life begins but in another way it stops. You build a life of details. You become a mother, a wife and you stop and stay steady so that your children can move. And when they leave they take your life of details with them. And then you’re expected move again only you don’t remember what moves you because no-one has asked in so long. Not even yourself. You never in your life think that love like this can happen to you.

Robert Kincaid: But now that you have it…   Francesca: I want to keep it forever. I want to love you the way I do now the rest of my life. Don’t you understand… we’ll lose it if we leave. I can’t make an entire life disappear to start a new one. All I can do is try to hold onto to both. Help me. Help me not lose loving you”

Rohan was not an avid reader but was up entire two nights to finish the book. It wasn’t a book, it was he reading Ananya. He thought hard on why she would be reading such a sad story. Every moment she sepent in the elevator crying flashed when he closed his eyes. Her fragrant hair, her body smelt of green apple and her quiet and somber demeanor, He smoked his Davidoff as he kept thinking of her, wondering or eagerly waiting the next time he would be face to face with her not realising he had fallen for her.

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Destiny was it………but they met!

“Let’s get going…or else we are going to be really late” said Rohan. He had finished his studies in Europe and had joined an Indian company purely due to his passion for electronics and secondly to be with his parents. “Why do we have to wait for so long, can she not come by herself?” he snapped with sheer restlessness. Gaurav looked at his watch and said…I have known her for 5 years and she is punctual, let’s wait for some more time, Delhi is not her city man.” Gaurav was known as a cool dude in the office, he was never seen serious and was known as a helpful soul.

Delhi had not seen this kind of rain since years. It was pouring since morning and hadn’t stopped except for an hour in the afternoon. “I don’t know why you had to tag her with us. It’s already 7.00 pm; I really don’t like waiting for ladies like that. If she doesn’t turn up in another 5 minutes, I’ll leave. We are invited by the client for the get together and I can’t be late there. India doesn’t really care for time leave aside women.” Before he could finish his sentence, an auto rickshaw(a three wheeler vehicle), stood at a distance from them. In the heavy showers visibility was bad but Gaurav tried to figure out if Ananya was here.  The auto stood there for 5 minutes and all Gaurav and Rohan could see was the auto driver turned behind talking to someone which seemed like a quarrel over money. After a while a blue umbrella popped from the auto and a woman in plain white chiffon chudidar (Indian ethnic wear) got down. All Rohan could see was the 6 inch heels, the white bottom, white and silver bangles in both the hands and a blue umbrella. 
The person started walking towards them managing her large bag and her dupatta getting wet from the rains. Gaurav stepped forward recognizing Ananya and swiftly moved towards her, ‘what took you so late? Anyways let’s get into the car and talk about it” Rohan just understanding that she had arrived had already started the car and was ready to go. They quickly got in, Gaurav in the front and Ananya sat behind, folded her umbrella and calmly asked, “It’s wet, where do I place it? Do you have a bag I can put it in?” Rohan was at his restless best and snapped again, leave it on the seat; I can’t waste time over a bag now.” And he started the engine and zoomed off. On the way he left no opportunity for Ananya to explain of her being late but gave all he could that it was Delhi, its notorious for its traffic, it’s the client who had thrown this party and another lecture on time management. It had been 4 months that Rohan had joined the company but had no opportunity to work with Ananya, for that matter didn’t know much about her.
The tires screeched and they reached the venue. Gaurav quickly got off and rushed in to tell his boss that they had arrived. Rohan got down too, opened the door for her and said please go in quickly ill park and come. As Ananya tried to get down, Rohan got the first glimpse of her. She looked in her early twenties, her bright face, droplets of rain on her brow, black eyes, wavy black hair, fuller lips and simple but perfect make up. Rohan was a keen observer but not the one to believe in love at first sight. She quickly got down and moved towards the hall. Ananya joined the company after her post-graduation when she was 23, had been with the company for five years now and was known as a dedicated and sincere colleague. She and her boss Madhukar had almost grown in the company together. Madhu never behaved as a boss to her, the entire office knew that the ladder to his success was his hardworking attitude.  
The party hall was not too big but very well decorated. Ananya loved white and yellow flowers and the hall was decorated with lilies. Madhu walked towards her to greet her. Ananya looked at him and remorsefully said “Sorry Madhu, I got late.” Madhu smiled at her and said “you are not late but on time, the client has just arrived and it’s your day Ananya, so cheer up! I have a small surprise for you.  Ill refill my wine and be back, would you like something?” Ananya nodded in negative. By that time the project team was all around her and Gaurav in an extremely dejected tone mentioned, “Man, I hate such get together, no beer dude, its classy it’s just wine…..” Ananya smiled   “chill we can have another party and that will be on me”
Rohan walked towards the group with his wine and said, “The wine is awesome, heavy bodied and not to dry, just the way I like it.” Gaurav rolled his eyes at that gesturing to say, you are more European and less Indian now.” The party was in full swing when the client signaled the music off and took over the mic, “ladies and gentlemen, it is my pleasure to announce that the product has had a successful launch and would like to thank Madhukar and his team for toiling hard to make this happen. The team’s effort is well appreciated and would like to specially thank Ananya for leading the team to make this a success.” Madhu took over and started, Madhu was known to stick to the mic given an opportunity and the minute he took over, there was a hum in the group. “Mr. Shyam, it is our pleasure indeed to have been able to work with your esteemed company. In my career of last 15 years I have not seen a better run project than this. The team has left no stone unturned to make this happen. We look forward to our journey with you and this as a start. Last but surely not the least I would like to personally thank Ananya for leadership and contribution on this engagement.” Smiling at Ananya, he continued, “We have a small token of appreciation for Ananya for this project completion and a certificate of excellence as she has completed five successful years in the company.” Ananya confidently moved ahead, took the glass plaque certificate and said, “Thanks for the surprise, Madhu, when you score a goal, or hit a three, or get a touchdown, you don’t do it for yourself, you do it for the team because the name in the front of the shirt is more important than the one on the back. So this is for the team who never gave up. Thank you!”
The party was young and peppy, post dinner Ananya excused herself and left in the cab she had booked, Madhu waited chatting with the client; the team joked around and played games. Late in the night Gaurav left with Rohan in his car. The one thing he loved more than his life was his white Santro which he missed in Europe. On the way back Rohan asked, “I had no clue that Ananya was with the company for five years? That’s something isn’t it?” Gaurav messaging his girlfriend on the blackberry answered “dude, have heard that when Ananya joined there were only two members in the team, Madhu and her. They did the pre-sales, got the business, executed and closed. And look now we are almost 15 people.” They got the bucks to get this going. The rumor is also that the management wanted to merge the unit with Asia Pacific, but they didn’t let that happen.” After dropping Gaurav, on the way back Rohan thought Ananya would have felt bad the way I spoke to her, I should apologize. My short temperedness is going to destroy things someday.
Girl meets Boy….not really…..love at first sight…. definitely not……Would leave you with a nazm by Daag Dehlvi,
uzr  aane main bhi  hai aur bulate bhi nahin
baais-e-tark-e-mulaaqaat batate bhi nahin
[uzr = hesitate; bais = reason]
[tark-e-mulaaqaat = terminating acquaintanceship]
khub parda hai ke chilman se lage baithe hain
saaf chhupate bhi nahin saamane aate bhii nahin
ho chukaa qata ta’lluq to jafaayen kyon ho
jn ko matalab nahin rahataa vo sataate bhi nahin
zist se tang ho ai ‘Daag’ to jite kyon ho
jaan pyaari bhi nahin jaan se jaate bhi nahin
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Ani….The Girl Next Door!

“Can you repeat the drink and make it on the rocks” she said in a dejected feeble voice looking away from the bartender. She thought that in the journey she had lost the woman she once was, aggressive, confident and full of life. “Mam here’s your drink, would you like something to eat too” she did not answer to the bartender’s question. She was lost in the thoughts of what had been happening for the past one year. She loved him, had become very dependent on him and he loved her too but his anger had no bounds. She was high after her fourth drink but still the evening scar was fresh in her mind. She still remembered the fight they had in the car on the busy streets of Mathura road. “How can you not speak to your parents about us? They got you engaged, you said nothing and still you don’t want to speak to them about us? What do I ask for just us being together, just your hand. This has been going on for six months now.” Rohan’s rage was not a surprise to Ani. They had been together for 3 years now. But since she had been engaged to her parents’ wishes things had been worse. “I hate you for the way you are. Women like you who cannot make decisions have no right to live.” Tears rolled from Ani’s eyes she said nothing and as the car stopped at the signal she quietly got down.” She crossed over to the other side not noticing the speeding car through her tearful eyes. The car braked hard just missing her by an inch. The driver rolled the window to shout out “why are you using my car to die, there are other ways too, try those.” She looked at him and moved away.

“Mam here’s your phone, the charger is not working, and the battery is breathing its last.” Ani was brought to the present by the bartender. She took at the phone and kept aside and sipped the last bit of the drink left in her glass. “rrrrepeaat pleassse” is all she could say. The bartender cautioned her “Mam I suggest you shouldn’t have more, how will you go home?” Ani smiled and thought why would she go home now? She was here so that she could not be in her senses and be brave enough to end her life. It would pain less then she wondered. Rohan found her meek and unwanted, her parents did not understand her and there was no motive to go on further she thought. She picked her mobile and started reading the text messages. They were the only support that would bring her back when Rohan fought with her. He would then send a message apologizing for his hot temper and saying nice things to her. There were no messages this time though it had been six hours since she got down from the car. She clicked on new message and typed “your worry is over now” and sent flashed on the mobile. She sipped the drink as she was ready for what she had come to this dingy bar in Khan Market for. She couldn’t imagine that Rohan and she had spent hours at the Barista opposite this bar whispering sweet nothings to each other and today she was here to see her last bit. The phone beeped and Rohan messaged “where are you, I hope you are not at some ……….” The cell phone battery died.

The bar was abuzz now and people were staring at the pretty woman at the corner table sitting alone. Ani had given up on things but was not aware of the consequences could be. She was almost five drinks down and was not in a position to look around. Her head had started pounding hard and the rock music was hitting her badly. The stout bar owner was observing her from the last three hours and now knew that she wouldn’t take more. The group of young boys who just entered wanted the table and so he gestured the bartender to ask her to vacant the table. The bartender politely asked her if she would like to order something to eat. He was aware of how fast she has drunk. He was also aware that her mobile had given up and she was in no state to go home, he too was on duty and couldn’t do much. Ani instead asked for the cheque. She couldn’t read the amount on the bill, she dug her hand in the large purse she carried and pulled her hand out. It was the bottle of sleeping pills she had purchased in the evening telling the chemist she will get the prescription in half an hour. After a lot of effort she placed a thousand rupee note and tried to get up. She dropped on the seat. She again tried and got up. She felt extremely dizzy and nauseatic and could barely place her feet firm on the floor. The bar was dark and as she moved to the staircase, she held the railing and tried to concentrate on the steps. The stout bar owner followed her. The staircase was narrow and the bar owner stood behind her and whispered, where do you stay? Should I drop you home?”

Ani had a shocked expression when she turned towards him. She in one minute realized what trouble she was in and the consequences could be rude. She wanted to hurry and run towards the last step and out of the door but her senses gave way. She held the railing tight, her palms sweaty as she stepped down, the bar owner following her. The minute she opened the door there was gush of cool breeze that wrapped her. She missed a step on the road and fell on her knees. The bar owner had now closed in was about to pick her up as she muttered ‘please don’t’. She now knew she was in trouble and she wanted to end her life but not fall into wrong hands. The street was filled with people who had come to unwind after a day’s hard work and Ani was trying to make her way through the people. High alcohol consumption can disrupt the brain’s judgement of distances and heights. Same was Ani’s state at this time. She could see people looking at her and she was not finding it decent. Just try to cross the street and hopefully an auto could take me to my hostel she told herself. Now another group was passing comments on if they would take her where she wanted to go. Ani was not just awkward but also vulnerable and helpless as she had no control on herself.

She tried to hurry before the men closed in. They almost circled her on the end of the street. She had tears rolling and from the corner she was the white Santro DL2C ADXXXX with the door wide open. She saw Rohan rush towards her and push people aside saying she is with me, move away. He grabbed her in his arms and she held her shirt and burst in tears. He was the support she was trying to cling on to in order to get her feet firm on the road. He quickly made her sit in the car and got behind the wheel speaking aloud, “Do you know what I have gone through from the time I got your text message to reaching here. What if my gut feel would have been wrong. Do you realize you are so valuable to me? How could you even do this?”

She was almost unconscious as she knew she was in the safest hands in the world and just kept blabbering “I love you Rohan”

You may think if this is a movie part or a novel chapter….i think just one thing…Life’s Like That….